Help me help my partner with rocd please !! 🙏🏾🙏🏾

@Tcp2025 I will ! Thank you for replying

@JediMJ Thank you so much for sharing this with me , I really appreciate it Should I stop reassuring him even if I don’t mind doing it ??? Have you gotten better with your ocd ? Are you in a place where you can enjoy your relationship with your gf ?

@vy__ If he’s seeking reassurance about the same things, it’s just reinforcing the idea that he’s right to worry about it, that the fear is real. In an OCD brain, the reassurance is making the problem worse. It might bring temporary relief, but ultimately, it’s hurting, not helping. That’s how my therapist figured out I had OCD…because my gf said all the right things and I was still terrified. We have to learn to live with uncertainty. Now that I understand my OCD, I can manage it much better. My intrusive thoughts don’t take over. I recognize them as intrusive, say “maybe/maybe not” and go on with my day. So, yes, I’ve gotten much better with my OCD. Unfortunately, my gf and I broke up over a year ago, but it ended well. We realized that we wanted different things from life. I truly believe we would have figured out my OCD stuff because we were making progress. It’s just that we were on opposite sides of an issue that was important to both of us. So, don’t be discouraged. 🙂 Also, let me say again that this is his work to do. You can’t fix it for him, though your support will help. And he has to buy into the idea that seeking reassurance is not helpful. If you just stop reassuring him, I’m sure that would send him into a spiral. It’s a lot, I know. But we can get better. I found this NOCD article that might help: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/steps-to-break-the-reassurance-seeking-pattern

@vy__ Please keep in mind that this section of NOCD is perhaps not the most reliable source of information. It’s not moderated. I think everyone tries to be helpful but sometimes people give advice that doesn’t sit right with me. I believe professional help is the way to go, with someone who specializes in treating OCD. Community is important—I like to hear about other people’s experiences and to share my own. I just caution you to evaluate my or anyone’s advice by what is true for you. 🙂

@JediMJ Everything you just said makes so much sense because I have to admit -me and my bf always seem to have the same conversation (countless times)that always ends with me thinking « okay his mind is at ease now » I didn’t know it was reinforcing the idea that he should be worried Sorry to hear about you and your gf . But congratulations on your progress dealing with OCD, your next relationship will be much easier for you now that you have the tools to « tame «  your intrusive thoughts😊 I have already told him about professional help . He is starting next week thank you so much 😊

@vy__ I’m so glad he’s starting next week! That’s great news! Progress is not linear, so it will have its ups and downs but it will ultimately get better. I’m happy for both of you. And of course you believed “his mind is at ease now.” And it *was*, temporarily. It was truly shocking to find out that my asking for and receiving reassurance was part of the problem, but it made total sense. And it was a relief to find out I wasn’t crazy. My fears about her felt so real even though part of me knew they weren’t based in reality. Nothing made sense until I understood it through an OCD lens. I’m so thankful for my therapist figuring it out. I wanted to say one more thing about reassurance. There were a few things that worried me that I did ask her about, eventually, because I realized I didn’t have the information I needed. I told myself I could ask IF I was ready to believe her and not ask again. And that went well. I asked, I felt better, I stopped ruminating—I guess that’s how a non-OCD brain works, or an enlightened OCD brain. 🙂 I didn’t realize how hard it must have been for her to hear me come back with the same worries again and again, as if her words had no power. I desperately wanted to believe her…my brain was just trapped in a loop. I’m so glad you are on this path together and that things are going to be more peaceful and fulfilling. Wishing you both all the best. And thanks for the kind words about my future…I do feel hopeful. 🙂

@Mrcino 1408 This is sooooo cute to read and honestly has been my approach this whole time you are literally describing how our conversations usually go 😂 I was constantly reassuring him but I have come to learn that it might not be actually helping him to deal with his OCD I will not abruptly stop . I will make sure I let him know that constant reassurance is only making matters worse, that it’s not because I don’t love him anymore but we need to put a system in place that makes sure he is strong enough to fight on his own. My baby is strong he can beat this 😊 Thank you so much to for this comment I appreciate you How are you doing with your OCD??

@vy__ Hard, sometimes seems impossible But i will manage Trust me your boyfriend will get confused by his own thoughts dont get mad at him Stay strong and FIGHT he needs you more then you think dont tell him that cause his manhood wont let him tell you that Inagine one day you beat it together Wonderful 🍀🍀🍀