If I manage to get a girlfriend will the ocd go away or will it get worse and be combined with rocd aka “what if I don’t actually like her and want to be with a guy” and then it will all go downhill. If that’s the case I don’t think I should start a relationship because I dont want the girl to go through all that.
OCD exists regardless of if you’re in a relationship or not. Could your OCD attach to the relationship and affect it? Maybe. Maybe not. You deserve to have a relationship if you want one, even with OCD. But no matter what, doing ERP is what will help you in the long run regardless of your relationship status.
@Andrea Wells Yeah but how can I be in a happy relationship if I worry that I’m gay and have groinals etc like won’t this completely ruin it
@geodrimilis bro, I dont have groinals but I have hocd, and I have a girlfriend, and yes it will not go away, sometimes when I am with her out I can't help but check myself, sometimes I don't feel attracted, and sometimes I just want to be alone, so no, I don't think it helps, but maybe it's different for each person
No, the ocd won’t go away (done that). You would feel and be in love while the ocd keeps on being ocd! That’s a proof ocd is irrational
I’m going through this atm but I’m talking to a guy with the intention of dating him. I still get the doubts, groinals etc but I try really hard to ignore them/let them pass, sometimes it backfires😭. I have been posting on here about it, I also thought my ocd would go away but honestly I feel as though the thoughts, feelings and sensations have gotten worse because my OCD knows it’s something I really value but like people say, it gets worse before it gets better. I’m trying to push through it because I know I’ve always wanted a relationship before this theme and I won’t let this disease take it away from me. I still get doubts like “are you sure you like him” “you sure you’re into guys” “you like women” etc etc Not sure if this helps you but hopefully it gives you some sort of comfort and courage that I’m also going through the same thing :)
A particular circumstance will never make your Ocd go away. Ocd will always be there but you can decrease it with ERP and healthy lifestyle habits. Stressful situations will make your Ocd flare up and it could switch to ROCD but you still shouldn't avoid doing what you love forever, out of fear. Because that's not a good way to live either. That is super nice of you though to worry about someone’s feelings. I also want you to feel happy as well. Maybe it's a good idea to work on yourself first for a while and get your Ocd levels down. Then afterwards you probably will have less big worries about not being able to handle your Ocd when you get a partner. You will feel more confident in your ability to handle situation
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include “Is my partner ‘The One’”? “Maybe I am meant to be with someone else”. “What if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/her”? “I find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with X”? “Do I even love my partner? What if they don’t love me?” This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the “right” relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no “perfect relationship”. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
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