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@Eric Llorente Could I get some help from you? I'm struggling but I also don't want to take away from this persons post. They deserve the help they asked for. I'm just struggling as well

@Anony1314 - It's completely understandable to feel frustrated when you notice yourself doing mental compulsions during exposure sessions, especially when the realization itself becomes distressing. The fact that you’re aware of these patterns and noticing progress in your overall distress is a huge step forward. Here are some resources! We cannot do full blown therapy on here. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-atheism-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/can-an-identity-crisis-be-treated-a-therapists-approach https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/coping-with-triggers-in-the-news-when-you-have-ocd/

@Eric Llorente Here's what happened: Held my nephew as I always do. He moved, grazed my chest. Sent off an automatic anxiety induced groinal. Overwhelmed my entire body and I automatically moved him away from me but then moved him back towards me I believe because it was almost like I wanted to mimic the feeling without even thinking about it. An automatic reaction! The groinal and anxiety feeling went away when I did that. In my head it was like I was thinking about moving him back to me? Then I put him down and PANICKED Is this a checking compulsion? Not looking for you guys to reassure me but please if you could just help me unravel this. Trying to make sure it is OCD. Thanks And if you don't want to respond. It's okay. Just struggling and want to go back to being normal and love on my nephew without feeling weird

@Anony1314 - This definitely sounds like OCD to me. Groinal responses can happen. It also sounds like you were checking as well to make sure. This is also compulsive. Here is a resource you can check out that may help you! https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/why-ocd-can-cause-a-groinal-response-and-what-you-can-do-about-it

@Eric Llorente Thank you so much. Even the feeling/urge to move him back and I felt as I did to either relieve or automatic feel that feeling again without thinking?

@Anony1314 - Correct that is a compulsion!

@Eric Llorente Confirming I'm understanding you correctly: Moving the baby back because of an urge to get that feeling again without thinking is a compulsion?

@Anony1314 - Yes, that would be considered avoidance as a compulsion. It's very common for people to experience mental compulsions during exposure, and it can feel discouraging to notice them after the fact. The important thing is that you're becoming more aware of these patterns and making progress overall. It's also normal to worry about using exposures to get rid of anxiety rather than to face it. Being mindful of this is a great step. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-atheism-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/can-an-identity-crisis-be-treated-a-therapists-approach https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/coping-with-triggers-in-the-news-when-you-have-ocd/

@Eric Llorente Thank you sir. I mean when I moved the baby back towards me because of an urge to feel the feeling it gave me again. Is that a compulsion too? I'm sorry for the confusion. It was automatic

@Eric Llorente Please help

@Anony1314 - Hello please note that this forum is not a replacement for therapy and I recommend that you seek services rather than using this board. It's very common to notice mental compulsions during exposure sessions, and it can feel discouraging when you realize they're happening. The fact that you’re aware of these patterns and noticing progress in your distress levels is a sign of growth. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-atheism-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/can-an-identity-crisis-be-treated-a-therapists-approach https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/coping-with-triggers-in-the-news-when-you-have-ocd/

@Eric Llorente I understand this completely. I just wanted to confirm this one thing from you: when I had the automatic urge to move the baby back toward me when I got the groinal to continue the feeling without thinking, is that considered a compulsion? Like it was very automatic

@Anony1314 - That could be a compulsion yes.

@Eric Llorente Thank you, and I'm sorry for asking all these questions sir. I do have an OCD specialized therapist but just waiting for my appointment again with her. I've been diagnosed with POCD already, but this situation has greatly debilitated me.