- Date posted
- 18w
Quick question on acceptance
Just a quick question how did you guys who have gotten better learn to accept these thoughts and not fight them ? What tips and tricks did you guys use to truly get better.
Just a quick question how did you guys who have gotten better learn to accept these thoughts and not fight them ? What tips and tricks did you guys use to truly get better.
ERP has been a big help with acceptance. My therapist has me do an exercise where I write down my intrusive thought, and three responses for this thought. The responses are categorized as: acceptance, uncertainty and humor. Being able to sit in the thought and figure out how to accept it has been a big help when thoughts come up that are unwanted. I'm a lot better at letting the thoughts come and not zeroing in on what they mean so much. It keeps me from spiraling out.
Acceptance is a big part of OCD recovery, but it can feel really challenging at first. Many people find it helpful to remind themselves that thoughts are just thoughts—they don’t define who you are. Practicing letting the thoughts be there without trying to push them away or argue with them can gradually reduce their power. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Here is a helpful resource: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/does-mindful-breathing-help-with-ocd-what-experts-say
@Demetria Agharese Could I get some support from you ma'am?
I would say to myself, "I accept the uncertainty that (whatever) may be true, because I don't know the future, and neither does OCD, but I'm not doing it now, (or it's not happening now), I'm not planning on doing it and I have a choice." This way, I stay in uncertainty and stay in the present. I still use this when I need it. Another thing I do is say to myself, "I'll worry about it if the situation ever presents itself." Hope this helps.
I would love to know this also, all I can do is either fight them or eat them up and spiral deeper and deeper like some kind of detective on the case. You arnt alone
For me the most important thing is to remind of how OCD works and know that it's never about the content. It is the underlying fear of different things in life and it's about doubt. When we learn to grasp the pattern we don't need a lot of tools, we identify what happens and then we let go.
I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off
The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?
I don't like how the internet talks about acceptance. Its always about "do not fight, hive up, accept the thoughts and feelings" but they never talk about the other side that acceptance is not giving up, letting yourself drown in the emotions and thoughts, just let the emotions do what they want to you, no you have the control to do whatever you want. And this is my problem when I want to take that control back i feel like im pushing away the feelings. Im tired of hearing "accept and allow every feeling" this can make you believe that you have to let yourself get drowned, this is not acceptance. Whenever I do it I just lost myself in the thoughts and emotions, but if I try to not lose myself then I fight and thats not acceptance... So this one now really bothers me....
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond