Would i know if i am losing feelings for my partner? How would i know? I feel disconnected and irritated by him recently and its scaring me that ive lost feelings and just dont want to leave because i am comfortable
So you are going through what I have at times. Let me break it down for you. Your brain can only be ecstatic about something new for so long. 2ish years is about that time in a relationship where your mind goes “wow I am comfortable with this person, they are home to me” which is NOT a butterflies feeling. You know their quirks, their annoyances, but yet you also can feel your connection with how deep you know and love each other. Love is a choice, not a feeling, not attraction, not sexual desire, not butterflies. An active choice. You cannot fall in or out of love without choosing that or committing action.
@mcocd This is my first relationship that is going to last over 2 years and it scares me that i will waste time. Like what happens if in 6 years i dont wanna be with him anymore??? Like i cant even imagine that bc it gives me so much anxiety. I dont feel the want to be intimate as much anymore, i feel annoyed, i see his flaws and mine. It makes me feel like im losing faith even though i dont want to :(
@gia wyer Not wanting to shows that this is an intrusive thought or a worry. You can’t predict the future, but you can determine your actions now to control that future. Commitment is love, showing care and kindness is love, that stays and will grow as long as you work towards it together. Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s imperfect and is never 100% all the time.
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@Anonymous Thank you for replying, we have been together for almost 2 years and literally nothing is wrong. He is perfect and treats me so well. We do have a few differences but nothing drastic that can damage the relationship. Nothing specific has made me irritated, its just in general. Like when we arent together i miss him but then when he comes home and we are together im like not as clingy as i used to be. Its making me feel like i dont love him anymore and its scaring me bc i did see a future with him. My ocd completely ruined that vision and now i question myself even though i know we are compatible. Its so hard
@Anonymous Thank you for your input. Im new to ocd so im still trying to navigate. I feel so alone sometimes:(
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@Anonymous Can i ask how much you pay for your therapy? That is literally the only thing holding me back
@Anonymous Can you check out my new post?
@Anonymousbubblebubble Yes the US is very expensive when it comes to therapy
Is this ROCD? My girlfriend spent the night yesterday and we were cuddling when I felt that I may have not felt attraction towards her anymore. I started to freak out, because I felt that I hated her and didn't love her. When we would kiss I would get an uneasy feeling, like that I didn't want this relationship. I know I do, but it's freaking me out, it's like I can't even feel emotions towards her specifically anymore. I've been so distracted by this problem, I feel I'm also lacking attention towards her. I've been on my phone a lot during her stay because I've just been trying to distract myself. It hurts really bad, and I feel like a rude bitch.
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
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