Uncomfortable situations

It’s scary how uncomfortable I feel around kids. Whenever I’m in close proximity of them I just feel so much dread and fear that I just wish to not be around them for the fact that I’m gonna feel or think something I shouldn’t. But wouldn’t that be an indication of something more? A few days ago I was in an uncomfortable situation where I was around one and those thoughts were there and I started to feel self aware of how uncomfortable I was, like maybe my discomfort was because I DO see them in that way and not for any OCD reason, and how I act around them just isn’t normal. I did try to just move past it like I was supposed to but it all felt wrong. And now I’m thinking “am I ever gonna be able to do anything without feeling uncomfortable around them? At what point does someone question that there’s something terribly wrong with me because of it?” Has anyone else experienced this with POCD? How do you go about it despite your discomfort?

Nica

Date posted: 8w

You have to push yourself to be around kids and stay present in the moment. This is self ERP.

Nica

Date posted: 8w

You avoiding it makes it worse, so that’s why it’s so unbearable.

steets m.

Date posted: 12d

This is something I struggle with too. I remember at the tail-end of my time at college, anytime I'd make the commute to classes, I'd always try to be as far away as possible from young families. Mom and her kid are walking down the sidewalk? I'd lower my head, avoid eye-contact, or even find an opportunity to cross the street and avoid them altogether, even if my initial route would've been shorter, and gotten me to the classroom quicker. I've struggled with thoughts and wondering if I like this or not, and it feels so isolating. Another issue I've had, is I began to question if someone who says they're in their 20s like me (whom I'm interested in, I'm 24) is really that age. Are they a safe person? Is it okay if I like them, even if they look younger like 18/19? Does that make me a dangerous person? What if they lied about their age, and they're younger still? If I having any sort of attraction to someone in my daily life whom I don't know the age of, am I okay? Am I a threat? What if I even check IDs and get to know them, but they still lied about their age? What if someone who looks like an adult, or looks older than me, turns out to be way younger? The common aspect in all of this, is being plagued with "what ifs", and it really sucks, but no matter how anxious you feel, or how anxious I feel, or how anxious any of us struggling with something like this feel, we've gotta keep going and confront our anxieties. I don't think you're a bad person for having a thought. Frankly, actual threats don't mull over whether they're a threat or not. At the same time, I don't know if you're a threat, and it seems like you don't either, but here's the thing--you DON'T HAVE to know. A thought doesn't equate to action or intention, no matter how REAL it feels. Your actions, and your being here tell me you're a pretty stellar, and brave person, so please, keep going in your journey to combat OCD. You've got this.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 16w

Pls has anyone been through this?

Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?

jazzyj4799

Date posted: 7w

I’m Scared my undiagnosed POCD isn’t OCD

Im 16 years old and female and up until very late last year and this year I’ve been having thought almost every day that I’m a pedophile or that I’m sexually attracted to or want a romantic relationship with child. I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t want judgment because I’m genuinely so scared and disgusted, but anytime I’m around children I feel my chest tighten, my body feels warm and it feels like I don’t know how to breathe. I sometimes get a groomer response but even then I don’t know if it’s a ground response or not. Also I tend to stare at children when I’m anywhere near them, I feel like if I don’t I’m a weirdo and if I don’t look at them it means I’m attracted to them which I guess could be POCD but I feel like I stare at them inappropriately. Not too long ago maybe three weeks ago I went to the park with my family and there were two girls in their swim suits and I was looking at their backsides and I felt really anxious and scared like I usually do but I felt so upset by looking at them that way and now I’m scared to go to pools or splash pads because every time I do I feel like I stare at them gross and I just feel so disgusted with myself. When I tell myself not to look I end up looking and then I stare. I feel better when I’m not around them but even then, I look back at what I saw earlier that day and I feel anxious again and then I look up what’s been happening and then I feel more worried it’s not OCD. My friends who have OCD say I might have it but I can’t get a therapist, I can’t talk to anyone I’m scared I’ll be put in jail and that I’m not a good person. I’ve never head thoughts like this until this year and near the end of last year and they come now? I don’t know what to do.

POCD

dee012

Date posted: 2d

Pocd real event help

in a community I stay at consistently a child and her mother began speaking to me and I could tell the child wanted to be my friend which is fine and the mother was having the child speak to me and make friends with me (she is very little im assuming 8) . To them I am their friend u know because they are little. They are my friend also but like a little kid friend? I guess haha but it does make me feel weird and it makes my pocd act up and my brain tells terrible things at me but I do ignore it. I feel sortve a maternal feeling towards the child and another baby they bring around. They are so adorable and very sweet. They are innocent and remind me of when I was little. But I do feel weird interacting with them or having these feelings bc I grew up in a bad and weird sortve family that being around kids makes me uncomfortable. I do get baby fever but ive never felt an actual care for a child besides my little cousin. Now I feel it slightly for these two because they both have such childlike wonder and I hope it never changes!! How do I get over this? They asked me to baby sit as well so I don’t really know what to do. :(

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Uncomfortable situations

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