Getting “stuck” at home

I’m new to this and trying to understand why I often feel stressed and overwhelmed by leaving the house to run an errand or see a friend. My boyfriend is an extrovert and I feel overwhelmed when I think of spending time with him because I know he wants to be out and about keeping busy. We live in NYC and lately the city is just too much for me - the noise, crowds, smells. I bailed on him today in a way I’m not proud of. He deserves to have a girlfriend that can and wants to keep up with him. I want to be that person, I want to WANT to do things. It’s so hard to know what is depression, what is personal preference, what is OCD, what is circumstantial, etc. I want to show up for my loved ones, I want to keep commitments, I want to get my errands done.

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

Do you work with an OCD therapist, or any kind of therapist right now?

trying333

Date posted: 25w

@MichelleV I just started working with a NOCD therapist this month

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@trying333 If you haven’t yet, I recommend asking your therapist for guidance on navigating doing things like errands or time outside. I also want to validate your feelings because it can be so hard to do things when you’re working through your mental health. I had a really hard time with this when I started therapy. Try to keep realistic expectations for yourself, and look for a balance of finding rest and recharging vs challenging yourself to go it and do what you like. Try not to shame yourself. You’re doing your best, and it’s wonderful you want to show up for your loved ones. Just don’t forget to show up for yourself.

trying333

Date posted: 25w

@MichelleV This meant a lot ❤️ do you have any tips for communicating this to other people (like romantic partner, family, friends)?

MichelleV

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@trying333 Yeah! I’ve found that sharing articles or videos about OCD, or the theme I’m stuck on, can be a nice tool to explain OCD to people who don’t have it. The NOCD website and their YouTube channel, as well as the IOCDF.org website, have very helpful information on this that’s easy to understand for people who don’t have OCD. If you are comfortable, you can try saying “I have OCD (or depression, etc). Right now I am struggling to do ___ (activity) because I have this fear/I feel paralyzed/what’s holding you back.” You can also tell them how to help you in a way that won’t compromise the work you’re doing with OCD (like asking them not to give you reassurance). I also sometimes tell my friends I want to vent about my OCD, but I don’t want a response other than “I hear you” or something neutral like that. Or you can say “hey, I want to get this specific errand done. I feel overwhelmed. Can you go with me so I’m not alone?” Or, “can I check in with you to keep myself accountable?” I had a day around Christmas where I just needed to go to the store to buy two gift cards, but doing so felt so overwhelming to me. I don’t like crowds and stores around the holidays can be a lot. So I asked my friend to go with me, and I faced my fear by going but didn’t get reassurance.

trying333

Date posted: 25w

@MichelleV That is all so helpful, thank you!

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