So-ocd and the Past evidences

I think it‘s not SO-OCD anymore. Too many real evidences from the past. At the time i was 12 years old and i had a girl-bestfriend. I really thought she‘s beautiful my heart dropped when i saw her and i even said after a fight with her that i love her. Real evidences from my past. The same when i was 5 years old. My then girl bestfriend and me got into an argue and i went to my mom to tell her that we had a fight and that i love her so much. I don‘t know i just think that makes me a lesbian. Is there someone with same experiences as me? I‘m 29 years old and i would love to habe a relationship

Lolaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

But i‘m not attracted to women Not sexually and not romantically

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

This is not "evidence" this is OCD twisting reality. 5 and 12 year olds (ESPECIALLY 5) is too young for sexuality to start expressing itself. at 12 we start to have crushes but its till in very early development. I had a crush on a girl in 6th grade. i thought she was BEAUTIFUL and i wanted to be just like her. i went to my mom FREAKED out saying " what if this means I'm gay?" she said i had nothing to worry about. thinking girls are pretty, that doesn't make you gay. loving you best friend? don't we all love our best friends? i love my girl best friends. your post below this answers your question. you're not attracted to women... so end of story. all of this is just OCD doing its very best to trick you to keep you anxious and keep you in a cycle of self doubt and compulsions. break the cycle. say it just doesn't matter. i love my best friend. Being a lesbian means you are romantically and sexually attracted, aroused and WANT to be with women.

Lolaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@TexasOCD41 Thank you so much! I mean i know i also do love my best friends but i remember how much i hated and was jealous that she had a boyfriend at that time and that i thought about her and was like hey am i in love with her? And we gave each other kisses when we saw each other, but friendly kisses not in another way. But i remember how my heart beat very fast and i remember that i was thinking why is it happening. That‘s what keeps me in the ocd cycle

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@Lolaa Hyper analyzing anything will eventually lead us to draw conclusions that aren’t always based in reality. There are THOUSANDS of reasons to have those responses towards your best friend, I’d say being romantically in love with her is reason 9999, 9998 other more plausible reasons that aren’t even worth the time to figure out are before it. Jealousy, sadness of possibility feeling you’re being replaced, happiness for her new relationship yet confused with where you will fit into that dynamic, all of this mixed together most likely. I got jealous of my best friend when she got in relationships because 1. I wanted to be in love too, and 2. I thought she would forget about me since she had a boyfriend. I loved her dearly too. We changed clothes together, slept by each other, even made out drunk once lol, none of that makes either one of us lesbians, just best friends with zero boundaries 😂

Lolaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@TexasOCD41 God you know i can‘t even remember exactly how it was i just know that after a fight i started crying at 12 years old and said it out loud that i was in love with her. But of course i was young and didn‘t know about that. Now with ocd ahhhh i just hate it! But thank you so much!!! I truly appreciate it !

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@Lolaa Gotta love 12 year old hormones lol

Lolaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@TexasOCD41 😂😂😂 thank you so so much

Ms.shelovesf...

Date posted: 6w

@Lolaa This is soocd and soocd is so sneaky and usually comes with real event ocd (it twist the fuck out of experiences that happened years ago) ignore whatever it says

violettag6

Date posted: 21w

so-ocd

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

marbo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18w

Determining sexuality with SOOCD

Anyone who has had sexual orientation OCD since the “dating age” (middle school/high school)— how did you ever determine your sexuality? I don’t want reassurance because I understand our experiences may be different. I’m just curious— did you try boys and girls? Did you just find your person and know? I started having SOOCD at age 16 and I’m now 28. OCD has ruined my ability to date more than anything else. I feel like it stole my chance at love. I’ve had three long-term situationships with men. I adored them but they were also toxic because I think I subconsciously didn’t believe I deserved better. I felt that if I knew the relationship wouldn’t work because of fundamental differences, at least it was okay that I couldn’t fully be present in the relationship. Not sure if this makes sense, but I’m just grieving that part of my life I missed out on.

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 16w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

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So-ocd and the Past evidences

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