ROCD

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.

Maeday

Date posted: 5w

Is it because you feel like you're "faking it"? You said you had defeated it, what does that mean to you? Are you NOT acting like yourself at the beginning of relationships, it do your intrusive thoughts tell you that you can't? Sometimes, we with OCD have an all-or-nothing mindset. I think that mindset tells us we can't be creators of our own life because we have doubts. And here's the kicker, even if we get better, those intrusive thoughts will still try to tell us we can't. Why? Because we had doubts to begin with. It's an awful bully. Instead of listening to OCD (and I'm in the middle of a flare-up so I'm trying to figure this out too), I think the trick is to be as much of a creator as we can. It might feel fake. We might fail several times, but we're practicing. Whether that's practicing learning how real love looks like and learning to love and be loved. Or any other myriad of things OCD tells us is impossible due to fears. Good luck. You're not alone in your feelings.

mason sweeney

Date posted: 5w

@Maeday Well, the word I mentioned defeated means I figured it out and it went away, and I wa back to myself and dopamine flowed and I was ok, in my current relationship. I’m 50/50 . 50% of the time I’m letting the intrusive thoughts rule over my head and I believe them to a degree and the sparks the anxiety around my partner to where I’m in flight or fight and I just am not comfy. It sucks. And the other 50% of the time. I’m me, happy, outgoing, not thinking those thoughts, and my mind is happy and my thoughts flow and I sing and dance, and am goofy. When I’m overthinking , ( ROCD ) I just can’t seem to be happy or act how I know I want to act and create around her, it’s much harder. But yes I see what you are saying and I 110% think that helps. And I will continue to do that. What helps me , is remembering that those thoughts are not real, and they are not real at all actually, that they are constructs built by yourself, and yourself who designed them can take them apart. And then I feel as if it’s easy to not overthink, but then I will wake up and be triggered by whatever it may be, and I’m back in a spiral . It’s really interesting. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m depressed from it becuase of my nervous system being so heightened.

faye1010

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

Good morning everyone, I need some opinions or help on what people might think is wrong. March 2024 is when I started questioning everything about my relationship for no reason he is everything that I wanted, but my mind is trying to tell me that it isn't April 2024 was probably one of the worst times of my life I stayed home from work because I was constantly crying and totally sick because I didn't know what to do. The thoughts slowly started to not bother me as much. I feel like since it ever started I never have gotten that. Love feeling back for my boyfriend, but I want it back so bad because when I did have it, it was absolutely amazing. I have no desire to kiss him or be intimate with him either which also scares me fast-forward to today. I am waking up with so many doubts in questioning myself. Is this ever gonna go away or am I ever gonna feel that love back for my boyfriend ever again? I feel like I'm wasting his time and my time because it feels never ending. I went to a therapist shortly after starting to deal with this and she didn't really seem to help so now on Wednesday I have a new therapist that specializes in OCD I think does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much in advance.

e2222

Date posted: 21w

Relationship OCD?/am I just evil

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

M_8

Date posted: 6w

ROCD- help please!

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community