This OCD makes me feel crazy and like no one has had thoughts like these before

I can't explain my obsession to anyone without it sounding crazy and no one understands the obsession, so I won't try to here. But has that happened to anyone? An obsession that you can't put into words and no one understands? I was making a tiny bit of progress with my NOCD therapist, but I couldn't afford it anymore. So I'm just feeling alone, scared, and crazy. Just wanted to reach out here. Thank you

chris102889

Date posted: 5w

I totally get it! I try to explain what I’m feeling to family/husband but they don’t get it. I feel like unless u have OCD/anxiety you won’t understand it. It’s endless thoughts like ur mind doesn’t shut off and ur in constant state of worry. I totally get you

Monto

Date posted: 5w

Yeah I sound insane whenever I try to explain what's going on with me. I get it.

jusstg

Date posted: 5w

A lot of the time I’ll find my loved ones trying to support but attempting to put it into words is more difficult than worth it half the time

I’m Batman

Date posted: 4w

@jusstg My therapist kind of had a way to explain things so most folks can at least get the jest. I posted it before but maybe it will help here. It involves harm ocd but the general ideal works for most all ocd. You tell the person you are going to have them do an exercise. Take out a sheet of paper. Now think of the person or something or pet you care about or love the most. Now I want you to write down that you hope “insert something really awful or bad happening to them” ( he used the example of getting hit by a car). At that point most people will either be like “I’m not writing that down, That makes me feel really uncomfortable. “ or they will say something similar. To which your reply is , you could not stand to be uncomfortable during this two minute exercise and you have the choice to not do it. This is my life everyday, every minute and I don’t get that choice to not experience it.

I’m Batman

Date posted: 4w

No one’s pushing you to share if you don’t feel comfortable. But if there was any place that would remotely understand what you are going through , it’s probably here. This was the first place I leaned I was not alone and other folks suffer from similar themes and thoughts. OCD is the worst sometimes. It’s the only condition I know of where if you explain it to someone else who has the same condition …. They have no clue what you are talking about. If someone who has seizures tried to explain it to you, you might not know what it feels like but you can totally see why it sucks and why you would not want one. Try explaining to a grown adult that if you don’t tie your shoe a certain way that a bus full of kids will die in a fiery explosion and it’s all your fault cause you could have prevented it. And that bus is in another country and you’ve never seen or been there. But totally your fault. I’ve seen folks in group sessions time and time again listen to other folks talk about their theme of ocd, lean over to the person next to them and say wow, I wish I had that theme. That would be so easy to deal with, my theme is way worse. Then later get said theme and say wow I wish I had my old theme back, this new one is way worse. Blows my mind. I was the same way too, I would gladly take contamination ocd over ROCD or pure O. Cause that shit don’t bother me lol. Same reason I would like hurt ocd or POCD back, because I learned to work through that kind. Does not bother me now. I read somewhere that scariest theme you will ever experience is the current one you have. Boy were they right lol.

alex l

Date posted: 21w

feeling like my thoughts are too unique

for the past few years i have been struggling with a certain theme of ocd as well as most of the other themes. but this one i have not figured out a good way to do my own form of erp or non-engaging responses. basically i will be daydreaming or thinking and have a very random thought. i wouldn’t call these thoughts intrusive thoughts because it’s not necessarily fear of the thoughts coming true, its just fear that my thoughts are too unique. my ocd will latch on to random or weird thoughts and may also add in that i was doing something weird while doing the thought. let’s say for example i thought of something random while i was rubbing my feet. then my ocd would be like “why are u having such a unique thought while doing something weird? nobody has ever thought about that specific thought while rubbing their feet before” (just an example). but basically it’s like my ocd bullies me for having thoughts that are too random and things i’ve never heard people talk about before if that makes sense. i am just trying to see if anyone relates even a little and how i can accept that everyone has unique thoughts.

Aprilshowers...

Date posted: 17w

My OCD

Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.

PenguinB

Date posted: 10w

Getting through life when therapy is unaffordable

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.

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This OCD makes me feel crazy and like no one has had thoughts like these before

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