Have you ever tested yourself by s€x stimulating physically yourself to those thoughts? I did and then it seemed to me that I could continue, and if I didn't, and now it comes back to me as something that I could do, I never once felt that it was repulsive to me... and that paralyzes me... i have incst ocd...thanks and sorry for being so direct...
This is a compulsion. I’ve had my fair share of insect thoughts. Sometimes they were repulsive. Sometimes they weren’t. It was definitely harder when they weren’t. But the feeling that comes or doesn’t come with the thoughts is not important. Lack of disgust or repulsion is not evidence.
@Caesarsalad thanks, and that's "testing" or whatever torments and haunts me..terrible..
Hello Anonimus ME 🦋, I see you are struggling with intrusive thoughts surrounding incest. Checking for signs of arousal is a form of compulsion, which reinforces the intrusive thought. It is completely possible to be stimulated, and not desire the context, that the act occurs in This is often in the context of PTSD, where sexual abuse occurred, but in the case of OCD, this also applies. Simply put, within the context of OCD, checking for arousal is a compulsion. Unfortunately, compulsions only solidify obsession, making them feel more real and threatening. Have you tried to instead to sit with uncertainty? Did you distress pass? Were you struggling to figure out where to start? At NOCD we are trained experts in the diagnosis and treatment of OCD and related conditions using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). ERP is the gold standard of treatment for OCD and related conditions, with the better part of the past century's research backing the efficacy of ERP. If you would like more information on OCD and ERP, please visit our website at www.treatmyocd.com. If you are seeking to begin/resume your journey of recovery, you may reach out to our member advocate team at care@nocdhelp.com. I hope this message reaches you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help! Take care, Ian M. Reeder
@Ian Reeder thank you very much Theoretically I know, but it seemed to me that I could, and maybe even wanted to, everything is mixed up. I consciously know that I don't want to have those thoughts and sensations, but sometimes I feel like I want to or could enjoy it.. I certainly don't know how to deal with it and somehow live..I feel like it's inside me..and that I'm not a normal person
Same, you’re not alone!
@Idontknow thank you for that...it means that at least I know I'm not the only one..😔
@Anonimus ME 🦋 You’re welcome!!! I understand how you feel!!
@Idontknow did you also have physical testing for those thoughts?
@Anonimus ME 🦋 No, I’m scared if I do that I might get turned on then I’m going to feel like garbage 😞
@Idontknow yes me too, but I tried it and I feel terrible...😔 and alone in it..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 You told your therapist???? I understand 100% I don’t think you’re alone maybe some just doesn’t want to confess it
@Idontknow I did, she didn't seem to have heard of it, but in general, as she belongs to the OCD, she's not really helpful to me...maybe there are others, but maybe not... no one advertises even if we are anonymous...😔
@Anonimus ME 🦋 I understand, please be careful when talking to someone who doesn’t understand OCD
@Idontknow yes... of course, it can be a problem when someone doesn't know and doesn't understand... that's why people are afraid to talk...😏
@Anonimus ME 🦋 True
@Idontknow that's why it's worse than it is...😔
@Anonimus ME 🦋 Are you feeling better today???
@Idontknow not really... somehow I feel alone in all this.. thank you for caring.. how are you?
@Anonimus ME 🦋 Nobody hasn’t reassured you? I know reassurance is bad for ocd but I understand you feeling alone I wish I could help :( I’m surviving trying always, thank you for asking!
@Idontknow Well, not really, everything around, but I didn't find anywhere else that there is someone else with it... there.. I, like you, try hard day by day.. I don't even know myself..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 I hope you get the relief:((((
@Anonimus ME 🦋 You don’t know yourself?
@Idontknow so I thought yes I know, but now I sometimes wonder..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 You’re not a bad person
@Idontknow Thank you🫶🏻
@Anonimus ME 🦋 You’re welcome!
@Idontknow you too always 🫶🏻
I was looking up stuff about kinks, because my friend is trying to help me "get out there", and I took the bdsm test to see where I land on it. I got 100% vanilla, and I was a little embarassed so I decided to Google things like "is it normal to not have a lot of kinks" or "what % of the population is into kink" and when I scrolled down a bit, I clicked on one of the little suggestion things with the arrow that said "are men more prone to enjoying kink than women" and it revealed a blurb from the website that said that men are in fact more inclined to kink, but also mentioned that it also means they're more inclined to p*dophellia, which sort of set off all these questions in my head of like "Wait so if p*dophellia is just a kink, does that make it more likely that I have it? Because scientenists still don't know what causes it so what if events in my childhood led up to me having it to some extent" and I started kind of going down this internal rabbit hole of trying to figure out how likely it is that I have it or some form of it bc if it's just a kink and not a mental illness than it feels more feasible? Idk I'm a woman so ik it's not AS common in us but it's still possible. I'm doing a little better with redirecting my attention and cooling my anxiety but I had an onslaught of intrusive images before falling asleep like I used to have when I first started experiencing this fear. It's been really catapulting me back to the beginning and I find that I'm ruminating on when it started and if it really means I'm a p or not. I know it's classic ocd but it's hard when it doesn't feel that way ;-; anyway, I'm too scared to Google bc i know it'll be a form of reassurance but also I'm just scared of having anything related to that in my search history so I just thought I'd post here. Anyone else have conflicting thoughts like this?
Do you perhaps experience things like being so frustrated and numb because of how much your ocd drains you ? Then you are naturally caught up in a compulsion where you’re “physically testing” yourself to lets say something you watched years ago that is usually against your orientation?? If you know what I mean ? Even though you know you are (your own sexuality) and are in a very loving relationship and you really love your partner but does anyone experience this ?? And then they’re faced with more thoughts about how they’ve betrayed their partner and how their partner will leave and if you also struggle with scrupulosity ocd you feel like you’ve committed a huge sin and betrayed your faith ? Again I get all of this goes against values and that the human body may still react to things we naturally may be against but anyone still falls for the testing and then has this awful reaction afterwards? And does that really mean I betrayed my partner ?? Thank you so much for your time and I would really love your insights as this is something that popped up with me out of the blue …
when i stay alone at home, the thought immediately comes to my head that I can touch myself, don't I imagine those thoughts?! I'm a bit scared of this "idea", especially since I've had these types of tests before... can anyone help if they've had a similar experience? what worries me is that it is my wish, i.e. that I can do it, and not ocd...
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