Religious OCD

Thank you 💓

I have intrusive thoughts of giving my s(...) to s(....). Or the d(....). I don't think our thoughts are the same. But thank you for sharing. That's a great comfort and I pray blessings fall on you.

@Anonymous I definitely have thoughts about selling my soul as well. Those are very common ocd thoughts actually.

@julianofnorwich It's a lie of Satan or demonic torment. Has to be. Why else am I being kept here?

@Anonymous I had the same belief I was being tormented by Satan. It was even suggested to me I get a "deliverance " by a special preacher. Many people with OCD feel they are tormented by demons. For me what made me believe it wasn't a demon was a few things. 1) more than one of us has these thoughts. When I learned how common these thoughts were I was shocked. Is the devil attacking all of us with the same thoughts? If so he's not very creative is he? 2) medicine and therapy worked for me over time. Also reading, listening to music. Is the devil and demons so weak they can be stopped by SSRI and therapy? And music? 3) many famous Christians also had these kind of thoughts. Martin Luther who started the protestant reformation. John Bunyan who wrote pilgrims progress. Why would God allow these great Christians who changed the course of church in many ways to be tormented by demons ??? You're last question is totally valid. "Why am I being kept here?". I wondered that myself as I had many years before my diagnosis and before I could afford treatment. I don't know why God allowed this suffering. I don't know why God allows any suffering at all in this world. All I know is I am not alone in my suffering and neither are you. Jesus himself suffered. I remember on the cross he said "my God why have you abandoned me?" So Jesus knows what I felt like when I felt abandoned by God as a child. I believe he knows what you're feeling like too and he has NOT abandoned you. He will get you through it like he got me through it because he is no respecter of persons. Praying for you 🙏

@julianofnorwich Thank you. This is an absolutely horrible horrible condition. I hate having these thoughts. I feel sick from anxiety. If there was a switch to turn and turn off these thoughts I would turn it immediately. I hope God sets me free or at least shows me that its for my eternal good. I do believe there is a spiritual side. Thank you for sharing it's a great comfort. I hardly believe nowadays that God is answering any of my prayers.

@julianofnorwich I appreciate your prayers. My Instagram is @j.golayuvoska.art if you have instagram you can look me up, there are very few Christians (probably 1 or 2) i have met with this condition. And with these specific thoughts.

@julianofnorwich Also, have you heard of Derek Prince?

@julianofnorwich How do you manage these thoughts? Have they every tried to convince you you want them?

@Anonymous I have heard of derek prince. Singaporean pastor right? Not a huge fan currently. But I do try to find encouraging and positive preachers that don't trigger my ocd in negative ways. I also don't have Instagram sorry. But you can always find me on here!

@Anonymous Yup I believed I wanted the thoughts, I believed I was an apostate for continuing to have sinful thoughts, I believed I was condemned and destined for hell because I was wicked deep down. For me the only thing that helped was stopping religious activities. I just read like children's books, watched cartoons, went outdoors, did different activities that eventually lifted my depression a little to where the thoughts became background noise. The constant praying and confessing were a compulsions for me so I had to stop that. I also listened to non Christian music as a way to do ERP to taboo themes like sex or cuss words. Eventually those thoughts diminished for me. I still have them from time to time but I can laugh at them now. I know God helped me, not in a "magical" way but in a day by day way of living a normal life.

@julianofnorwich Thank you for sharing. I have found that quietly reading my Bible has helped me. I could do that for hours. Not as a compulsion but to try and visit the presence of the Lord in peace and fulfillment; i find that he is more willing to save than I could ever have imagined. Instead of trying to rid myself with every possible cruelty through the thoughts; I am trying to just be with Him. ❤️ 💙 Peace to you!

@julianofnorwich Kinda, he was an English missionary. He has a lot on deliverance and spiritual warfare. I dont compulsively watch Him but as believers I often wondered if (because my ocd is faith based) OCD could be one bug huge satanic deception? Satan is called the liar and the deceiver and Christ said that the truth shall set you free. I am trying to figure it out with the Holy spirit. I truly dont know. I dont want to live like this. I am 22 and my dreams are fading.

@Anonymous Omg I'm sorry I got confused with joseph prince. Totally different guy! I'm so sorry it feels like your dreams are fading but I promise they are not. I felt that way too at 22, and I'm way older now. I feel like my dreams are just beginning as I get better and I know you will get there too! Are you in erp?

@julianofnorwich Yes I am in therapy. ❤️ 💙 💜 thank you for speaking openly i still struggle with magical thinking and my ocd feels like a lot to carry.

It's not the compulsions - it have been set free from them - it's the thoughts themselves

I dont understand - if I say Jesus please set me free - why does He not? It's been 5 years and I can't go on like this. I turned 22 3 days ago and it's still like this. I still feel like a child. I still feel helpless and frightened. I want to belong to God forever and be free. What does God want from me? Why Can't I hear him? Is this something i have to work on or cast out or is this just an effect of the mind going hay-wire? I have been in constant distress for 5 years now.

Thank you for your help friend! 🧡

@Anonymous I know you think you are set free of the compulsive behavior, but you are currently ruminating. And it seems you also participate in compulsive prayer. I COMPLETELY understand how difficult this is. I have personally experienced this and struggled with faith because of it. I would suggest working with a therapist that is also experienced in religion if that aligns with your beliefs! Let me be very clear, I do not think you need to completely stop praying, but I think you need to be mindful about whether or not you begin to pray after feeling anxiety from intrusive thoughts. The thoughts themselves will unfortunately not go away, especially because you are paying attention to them so much. The response is what matters.

@ocdhaver_123 I would really really recommend going through ERP therapy, and possibly looking into medication as a tool

@ocdhaver_123 Thank you!

@Anonymous - Okay thanks for sharing because that's important info. I agree with the other commenter that there are not only physical compulsions, but there are mental compulsions as well. Many people aren't aware of that, understandably, because those compulsions just happen in our head so they can't be seen. But for you, it sounds like you may have compulsive rumination, compulsive praying, and compulsively wishing away your intrusive thoughts. With ERP we wanna allow those thoughts to be there in the background and not fight them or judge their presence as being "bad." We don't wanna view the thoughts as scary anymore or something to get rid of, because this will help those thoughts feel less anxiety-provoking over time. I also feel your frustration about wondering why God isn't helping. I struggle with the same thing so i relate to you. I've asked for God's help for years and he hasn't changed my suffering with Ocd. It's good to have faith but I unfortunately realized more that I had to put in the work myself with ERP therapy so that i could see concrete changes in my life. That therapy has allowed me to reach recovery in the past from my mental compulsions. I still think you could benefit from that treatment :) There is a lot of evidence to support its benefits for Ocd sufferers who also have mental compulsions like you do.

@OneDayAtATimee - Also your Ocd isn't a result of you sinning or doing anything morally incorrect and it's not a punishment from God. No one is born perfectly. Sometimes people are just born into difficult situations such as having a physical or mental illness. Even incredibly innocent newborn babies are born with terrible disorders and they have done absolutely no wrong, they were just born! It’s not their fault either. Scientifically- you just have a faulty brain like the rest of us on this app. Our amygdyla doesn't work properly an sends off false alarm signals when there's actually no danger in reality. But our brains can definitely be re-wired with ERP therapy (because of neuroplasticity) and we can feel more "normal" again. There's lots of hope <3

@Anonymous Relatable