pocd/career plans

i’ve graduated and it just seems terrifying now because my pocd is flaring up again and i’m terrified of myself , i was planning to become a teacher but i just find disgust in even applying and I want to avoid children I have had these recent thing where i have intrusive thoughts and im scared to look at children because im scared i might look at their intimate areas and it’s killing me because i avoid looking at children or even have conversations with them because im scared of what my ocd does. Even when i try to conquer my fear of looking at children and just letting the fear sit, my OCD convinces me that i do look at them in a weird sexual way and I feel like ripping myself into shreds even saying that.

Philip_son

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13d

Hopefully this is helpful: I know exactly what you’re talking about and have experienced the very same thing in pretty much the same situation. In fact it was the reason I didn’t continue on with student teaching after 3.5 years of educator education. I’m in a much better place mentally now and have fixed a lot of misconceptions I had before. Heres the thing, as long as you continue to focus on trying not to look at an individual’s private areas, you brain will continue to hyper focus on it as something you’re in danger of doing if you don’t constantly make the decision to not do it. Here’s the other deal though, you can get past this by acknowledging that yeah my eyes may go to those areas every now and then and that doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong or trying to do anything wrong. It doesn’t mean I’m a creep, a pedophile, or that I’m doing anything illegal or even morally questionable. Your eyes went to those areas. That’s all. Don’t allow your OCD to get you into a spiral of oh my gosh why did I look there? Did I want to look there? If I did look there am I bad person? Does this mean something? I’ve somewhat figured out that this wasn’t really any issue before my ocd grabbed onto it and I’ve realized now that I’m progressing through therapy that it isn’t an issue now either. If my eyes snap onto a private area of any individual whether they be a child, teen, adult, I simply say cool and move on with my day. Now I’ve gotten to the point where if something like that happens my brain doesn’t even realize it or give any meaning to it all because there wasn’t any to start with. It may also be helpful when and if that happens to just say hey that’s an area of their body, we’ve all got it, move on.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13d

Ocd goes against your values. So if you love children- you'll sadly get terrifying thoughts about children. It's automatic reassurance in a way. Try your best to continue to pursue your career you were intending and don't let avoidance compulsions stop you from living your best life <3

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 16w

Pls has anyone been through this?

Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?

emma345

Date posted: 12w

Meds and pocd

17f My ocd is hell on earth so I'm thinking about going to a psychiatrist maybe they will prescribe me meds cause my POCD is a torture and other themes are bad also But I'm scared that if I start taking meds I will become less cautions about looking at kids and interacting with kids and will do something fucked up and wrong Cause now I can't even look at kids I feel like it's morally wrong like if there is a chanse I'm a P and I'm scared meds will get rid of me being so so cautious around kids making sure I'm not aroused I'm not looking at them I'm not touching them and I will do something fucked up and then I won't deserve any redemption

happygirl15

Date posted: 10w

POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

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