- Date posted
- 21h
New Christian and OCD
So when I was younger I was a Christian but my OCD got so bad that I felt like it was impossible to have OCD and Christianity at the same time so I left God and convinced myself He wasn't real for 12 years. I now recently turned back to God but because the way I loved was so bad and the fact that I turned away in the first place makes me wonder if God forgave me again. I also struggle with ego distonic OCD. Like I get blasphemous thoughts about God and my mind tries to convince me that I wanted to think them. I also get ego dystonic feelings, like I was listening to a song about turning away from the cross with a smile on my face and thought about the evil people that did and even though I don't want to feel that way I got a sense of smugness or pride and I didn't want to feel that. I'm struggling so bad thinking that if I stop thinking about God for a couple hours and have fun with my hobbies like watching TV then I'm sinning and it's got me so anxious of I'm truly on the narrow path that I've been compulsively picking at my scalp till it bleeds. Has anyone experienced anything like this or have any advice to Christians going through OCD?