I'm going through a break up and as much as I don't wanna text him or call him, my mind is stuck on he isn't safe or something happened to him and it gives me immense anxiety until I call him idk what to do
Hello friend! I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, there is only real one thing you can do that will actually help. Live with that uncertainty. You have to accept that maybe something is going on, even though it is unlikely. OCD wants certainty. The issue is, no matter how many times you answer or reassure, it's never enough. And by calling or checking, you are re-enforcing the anxiety pattern. Essentially, you are telling your mind it was correct to make you anxious. Your brain is saying "Oh they responded to the fear/anxiety. We must have saved them from something. We better make sure to make them anxious again the next time." The only way to break this cycle is to ignore the thought and deal with the anxiety which results. It is hard. But you can do it. Don't check. Don't call. Don't even think about it. Go do something else and don't pay the anxiety any mind. Float through it. I know how hard that is from experience. It gets better with time. But the only way to help your anxiety is through it, not by avoiding it or trying to "fix" it. Show your mind it has nothing to worry about. Don't pay it any mind. You are not your thoughts. Sorry you are going through this. I believe in you.
Thank you so much, the anxiety is so bad I ended up crying I hate it I don't wanna worry about him anymore
@ihavesevereocdanditsruiningmylife I understand. I have been there many times. My advice is this. Go do something. Leave the phone. Go be around someone if possible. Go do something you enjoy. I particularly like to read because the immersion I get from reading helps. Watch something. Do a hobby. Anything. Don't just sit there and keep thinking. That's no good. Then, when the thought recurs, which it will, just gently redirect your attention back to what you are doing. Tell your brain you will think about that later (you won't, but you can trick it for a while). Even if it takes a hundred times, refocus on what you are doing/who you are talking to/anything else. If you feel like you can, further expose yourself. Tell yourself "Maybe something is going on. I can't know." Or "This anxiety is tough. Too bad I'm not going to do anything about it." This may be too hard right now, but that's okay. One step at a time. Slowly, you will retrain your body into realizing that the anxiety is unfounded. But you have to believe that yourself. The things OCD tells us are lies. They don't deserve your time. They aren't real thoughts. They are tricks. Treat them as no more than a passing notion and then try, as best as you can, to ignore the anxiety. I want to encourage you. I've been there. I've shaken, gotten headaches, had my face go hot, gagged, even thrown up, from the anxiety. But I kept my head up and now, my symptoms are much, much better. My symptoms only got that bad because I didn't even know I was encouraging my anxiety until I had been doing it for months. Start floating through the anxiety now. Pay it no mind. And things will get much better quickly. Again. It's through the pain/anxiety that you will find relief. But don't just sit there and suffer. Go do something. It will help.
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