what if i only had a crush on beck on victorious because he was constantly characterized as the “hot guy”?

it’s like OCD doesn’t want me to have anything that brings me the slightest amount of happiness. i HAVE to doubt it.

yea...like im rewatching the series now lol and im just noticing that victoria justice has a really good body. it’s not that i am attracted to it..it’s more that i wish mine looked like hers. but now my mind is completey turning the thought around in my head and making me feel like i am attracted to her. ugggggh.

@empathmind OH MY GODD, that’s exactlyyyy what happened to me. like exactly. i noticed it and i was like dang i wish i had a body like that and then i kept looking at her body because i had created a mental attachment to looking at it after i kept looking into why i looked at it the first time so then my mind kept saying omg are you attracted to her. tbh it’s rarely my mind TELLING me i’m attracted to a girl, it’s always the question of “am i attracted to her”

@kaysf yess yess. and then i get a groinal response and im like ah fuck. the mind is very powerful.

@empathmind groinal responses have been a big thing for me lately. they’re not really tingling sensations they’re more of like a muscle contraction down there. and i’ve realized i get them wayyy more when i see something and i’m like omg omg you’re gonna get a groinal response oh god and then it hits and i freak out. but sometimes they happen when i see things and it not even thinking about them happening and that’s when i get freaked out. but then again i’ve noticed now that they happen so randomly. like i could be staring at a wall and it’ll happen but then my mind tells me i was thinking about a girl or something

@kaysf yeah I’d say groinal responses are the main thing i struggle with. i used to watch lesbian porn because i preferred it because it focused more on pleasuring the female body vs. straight porn which is more focused on pleasuring the man. and i think that is the main thing that keeps my hocd going. so now whenever there is a picture of a girl in a swimsuit or even just a girl in general, my mind somehow relates it back to porn and then feels the need to give me a groinal response. but also, if if you anticipate that you are going to get a groinal response in any situation, you will more than likely get one. your mind plays a big part in it.

@empathmind it’s so frustrating because i have always pictured myself and wanting to be with a boy. i hate that i just happened to stumble across lesbian porn at a young age and happen to like it...i think it confused my mind so much and triggered a lot of anxiety. ugh.