Real event pocd crisis

So I struggle with my motives. Like I’ll have an intrusive thought that says “what if you did that because you wanted to attract this person?” And then I ruminate and always come to the conclusion that I did it for that bad reason. The thing is when I did that action I didn’t even think anything of it. But now I’m like how could I do that? Maybe it’s my mind twisting things but I genuinely believe I’m a p. I had another panic attack today because of this.

MysticAlien

Date posted: 2d

I don’t know what to say to help, but I over analyze and judge everything I do. Even accidents. Like I am so aware and unaware at the same time. I won’t notice something in the moment or even think about what’s happening in a deep way at all but then a day to months later I am freaking out over it and ruminating that not only am I bad but I’m gonna get in trouble. I am always scared of getting in trouble whether I did something or not. And honestly it’s sometimes more frightening on the nots. Bc I fear the most others perception of me and what they might do. Whether it’s true or not.

ocdsufferer1234

Date posted: 2d

@MysticAlien I feel you it’s literally the worst because I’ll do something like shaving or fixing my hair and MONTHS later I’ll think wait I did that for that bad reason and I need to be locked up. Mind you I didn’t hurt ANYONE and I would never. It’s so exhausting

MysticAlien

Date posted: 2d

@ocdsufferer1234 I feel the same exact way!!! The saaaame way!! It’s literally taking over my life and I have no immediate support. My friends are getting tired of me talking about it, I don’t trust anyone anyway, and yet I feel like all I want and desperately need is a partner. Not even have to be a love interest. But someone who says I’m here you’re definitely not this or that you are safe and for any reason you aren’t I’ll be there to fight tooth and nail for you. I won’t let anything happen to you and you’re not alone I love you and I trust you I believe you. But I’ve never ever had that. Never truly.

ocdsufferer1234

Date posted: 2d

@MysticAlien I talk to my parents but they say I’m being childish and my thoughts are ridiculous. They just don’t understand. The only person that truly makes me relax is my psychiatrist but I don’t want to bother him every time I have an intrusive thought because it’s so often. I feel like a burden. Sometimes I wish I could find a boyfriend that was in the mental health department so they could make me feel better because they know how to handle stuff like this. But that’s just my fear talking. Anyway I’m here if you need to chat or anything don’t hesitate to reach out!! I feel like we share similar experiences and you’re definitely not alone in feeling like this.

SFEMZ

Date posted: 2d

@ocdsufferer1234 Wouldn't advise confessing to your partner or honestly anyone because it is a compulsion. That's why it makes the symptoms worse, you might feel even more anxious and have intrusive thoughts more often. Also even for partners it might get tiring, not because we are "a burden" or they don't like us anymore. It just gets tiring bc it's repetitive and people get busy with their own stuff. Would just advice you to try to not confess next time and try to sit with the thought. Bc ocd makes us think that it's urgent and we have to ask everybody around us about it to be certain. But we don't need the certainty. It actually makes things worse for us because our brains will never be certain because of ocd.

MysticAlien

Date posted: Yesterday

@SFEMZ I needed to hear this.

SFEMZ

Date posted: Yesterday

@MysticAlien Glad to help!

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

Idontknow

Date posted: 17w

Pocd

I’m scared I might become a r*pist I’m over here thinking at a time I saw a kid and I looked down at his pants like I keep thinking about what I did and it’s like I feel attracted and to me it felt like I gave him this predator look and he probably thinks I’m a P I just wonder how is this Pocd Because it feels like I want to do stuff like I don’t know I keep thinking about that situation

Givenup

Date posted: 13w

Pocd and gut feelimg

Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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Real event pocd crisis

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