Breakdowns w exposure & how to cope

Hi! 1 month in to ERP for drug and alcohol contamination, and I’m wondering if this is excepted with therapy/ progression. Obviously, when I am exposed to both of my triggers I get extremely overwhelmed, go mute, explore lots and lots of self hate, and then BOOM I’m hysterically sobbing and inconsolable. These episodes last what feel like forever ( very similar to a panic attack), but eventually stop and then I go back to my normal self. I feel very embarrassed, ashamed, and almost disgusted with the fact that I had the specific breakdown for like 1 hour post breakdown. Now, if I’m stressed, mentally/ emotionally exhausted, in a new or unfamiliar place, God forbid having to travel, the same thing happens. I am unsure if it’s because it’s a “disruption” from my normal, or if my mind is trying to protect me or what. Does this happen to anyone else? My best friend gets married in less than 1 month, and the wedding is in Charleston. I haven’t been there since another bachelorette trip that I took, but when we were there, I was taking Prozac and Rexulti ( psychiatrist put me on it for “paranoia” when in reality it was my OCD 🙃) well I ended up going into serotonin syndrome and stopped both meds and started back on Lexapro. Needless to say, I don’t have the best memories associated with Charleston bc I had a panic attack there, was around alcohol, loud environments, and my mind has convinced me it’s not a safe place for me. Does anyone have any advice on preparing for the trip, being away, and staying somewhere I am scared of? I need to be the beat version of myself as it is my best friend’s wedding, and I want to love her well

theycallmeemmy

Date posted: 21d

I would first like to say that I am sorry for what you are going through. I don’t know this experience personally, but I would just like to speak to the fact that it sounds like you’re doing the best you can given the circumstances and those circumstances seem really, really hard. I hope you’re being patient and gracious with yourself. As for preparing for the trip, have you tried doing any somatic therapy and nervous system regulation work? I wonder if that might help you feel safe when your anxiety gets the best of you and you can bring yourself back to the present to feel fully embodied and work through the moments of panic and uncertainty. Maybe you could bring this up with your therapist and see if she would try some of those exercises with you to start out? When I am learning on my own journey is that the brain doesn’t have the best understanding of imagination versus reality in regards to our thoughts (or at least that’s what I’ve heard repeatedly). What I’m also learning is that the body stores so much trauma, anxiety, and all sorts of energy, and when we can attune ourselves with what our body is telling us, we can make better informed decisions in regards to our well-being. maybe some embodiment exercises could help you stay calm or potentially bring you to a calm space? I hope so! I’m rooting for you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 21d

@theycallmeemmy You are an angel! Thank you

theycallmeemmy

Date posted: 21d

@Anonymous Of course! I really hope it’s helpful. Something I’m working on right now is diaphragm breathing. I’ll set a timer for one minute and count my respiratory rate and then I’ll do a short two minute breathing exercise to reset the nervous system and breathe through the diaphragm. It’s a guided meditation but because it’s so short, it’s very manageable for me. Then, after that exercise is over I’ll set a timer for one minute and check my respiratory rate again and each and every time it goes down. It’s been really helpful and I’ve noticed a change in me physically and with my embodiment awareness, too.

Anonymous

Date posted: 21d

Thank you! I’m gonna try this tonight after doing my ERP homework :)

ddrew

Date posted: 21w

Some advice please

I’m experiencing anticipatory anxiety related to OCD. I have an important trip in 7 weeks and travel triggers my ocd. My feelings are just a dull ache in my belly constantly, and a jittery feeling. I’m confused about the actual obsessions. I used to have harm OCD that sprung from a travel incident years ago and ever since then, travel has been very fear inducing. I get the physical symptoms then my mind starts going hard. I ruminate about whether or not the stress will cause intrusive harm thoughts which in turn causes some intrusive harm thoughts. It’s very confusing and hard. I want to be someone who enjoys traveling and experiencing new things. I want so badly to enjoy this trip. Any advice helps. Thanks.

Calistarwood...

Date posted: 19w

Possible OCD “flare up”

Hi!! My names Calista R. Woodbury-Rabon. I recently got married in March of this year. And have been struggling with my severe anxiety disorder since I left my toxic 3 year relationship about a year ago. Over the past several months, I have noticed that I go through phases where: I have a full body “anxiety attack”. Or at least that’s what I call it. For example : when we went to cookout and they told us they were out of the chili for walking tacos. I had a full blown anxiety attack or at least what I thought was an anxiety attack and starting hyperventilating and crying. Therefore, the only solution (in my mind) was that I wouldn’t be able to calm down until I had the walking tacos. Another example : My husband bought me a pajama set that was only recently put out because it was a patriotic item which means that after the summer it’d be gone… I ended up picking up the wrong size. So that night when I went to put on the Pajamas and realized they were too small I started hyperventilating and crying. All because these $17 pajamas did not fit me and it was no fault of my own. Whenever this happens, I usually end up spiraling and crying and saying a lot at once very quickly. And I usually look crazy and don’t make a lot of sense. Usually after the spiraling is over with I’m very exhausted and usually will cry myself to sleep. My husband more often than not will say stuff like “it’s not that big of a deal you can get something else.” << when it has to do with food etc. OR “we can just buy another set of pjamas the next time I get paid.” << in relation to the pajamas in this instance. But honestly no matter what him or anyone else tells me in that moment. All that matters is that I can feel the anxiety in my bones. And I can’t breathe and in that moment my world as I know it has ended. I’ve tried taking online free “quizzes” to find out if I acctually have OCD and they’ve been negative. I also did some research and learned that you can have all the symptoms for a OCD “flare-up” but present no active case of OCD or symptoms. So I guess what I’m trying to find out is if I don’t have “OCD” than Is this out of body experience caused from my “severe anxiety disorder” diagnosis ? Or just anxiety in general?? Thank you for taking the time to read this even if you also aren’t sure!! Means a lot to me..❤️‍🩹

LostForever

Date posted: 16w

I’m having a severe OCD breakout while abroad

As the title says, I’m having a severe breakout while abroad with a friend. It is contamination related and mostly STI related. I am at loss what to do and that ehat I’ve learned I am not able to follow and my intrustive thoughts are going rampant. I am not able tk enjoy my time and I am faking it for my friend. Going back earlier is not an option. What can I do to survive this period? I am not able to distinguish realistic fears from unrealistic ones anymore

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Breakdowns w exposure & how to cope

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