False Memory OCD Support Needed

I basically can’t stop thinking about the false memories and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop since I’ve woken up today. I keep picturing the images / the false memory and I focus and fixate on the images and they feel so so real and realistic and when I think of them I get a feeling of “clarity” and a genuine sense of knowing and belief that deep down I know these memories are true and have happened and that I’m just in denial and lying to myself and you by saying that they’re false memories when in actuality I know they’re real which is also really frustrating and makes me feel uncomfortable. On top of that as I’m writing this message my stomach won’t stop turning and it really hurts and I just want to cry and my brain says that I’m experiencing these physical feelings because I know I am lying and just in denial and that these physical symptoms are proof that I am lying and just in denial and I just don’t know what to do or how to calm down. I really don’t want these memories to be true and I want them to be false more than anything in the world and I am not lying when I say I don’t know whether or not they’re real and I’m not lying or pretending they’re false memories but the more I say that to myself the more it feels like a lie and I’m just terrified at the thought and idea of them being even 1% true because why wouldn’t they be? Is it really possible to fabricate entire memories or doing sexual things to and with another person that are that detailed and realistic :/ My brain says things will only get better once I admit to the false memories and stop lying to myself and stop being in denial and stop using false memory ocd as an excuse and just admit to them because I know deep down I have done them and that they’re true which is why I feel a deep sense of clarity about them and that I am just continuing to lie to myself, to my girlfriend, to my therapist and to my family when I say I don’t know whether I have done anything sexual to or with this person because deep down I know I have I just don’t want to admit it so I’m continuing to be in this heavy state and cycle of denial because I don’t want to accept what I have done. I just want this to end. I just want confirmation that I have never done anything sexual to or with this person and that these memories are entirely fabricated by my ocd and have no basis in reality but I don’t even think that’s possible. I’m so done.

Bmwlover47

Date posted: Yesterday

Been through what you have. Those are very intense memories. However those activities are very memorable. The line gets very blurry and it’s hard to tell! At my worst I had a single thought in my head for 2 months. Trust me it will get better. The best thing I did was sit with the thought and move on with my day. Stay busy and eventually you’ll reach your healthy mental clarity to be able to brush it away as just a random thought.

Iwantthistob...

Date posted: Yesterday

@Bmwlover47 Thank you for the reply ❤️ if I may ask, what do you mean by those activities are very memorable :(

Bmwlover47

Date posted: Yesterday

@Iwantthistobeafalsememory Once in a clear headspace they’re much easier to determine wether they really happened compared to say “did I turn the stove off”. I have battled the same thought of thinking did I do something with them? But can’t remember it.

Iwantthistob...

Date posted: 22h

@Bmwlover47 Oh okay - if I may ask, so did you also experience very realistic and detailed sexual memories of doing things to and with someone, like people you know such as friends that didn’t end up being real? :( But like every time you think about them you feel like you’re just lying to yourself and others when you say you don’t know whether you have done them and did you feel like you were constantly in denial and becoming overwhelmed with emotion and wanting to cry? My brain keeps attributing those physical feelings to guilt and a sense of knowing deep down that I did those things - I really don’t want to have it’s so hard

Bmwlover47

Date posted: 11h

@Iwantthistobeafalsememory I sure did. In fact it was someone I have never met in person but my brain was trying to convince me that I had! I promise it gets better. I can’t offer reassurance to your specific thought because it only makes the wheel keep spinning. OCD is a chain and it must be broken.

izabela’socd

Date posted: 24w

Fellow False memory ocd people

Hi, I’ve had ocd since I was 12 but the hardest theme I’ve ever encountered was false memory ocd and POCD. I’m convinced I’ve molested children and people and it disgusts me to my very core. Is there anyone else going through this? I really need to talk to people who are going through the same thing as me and can share their story because I feel so along in this false memory cycle because it feels like a real memory and I feel like I’m tricking everyone around me into thinking it’s false. Please help

YouWillSurvive

Date posted: 23w

False-Memory OCD Help

Hey all, I've been okay for a while, but today I'm having a hard time with my sexually-themed false memory thoughts and the compulsion to try and "figure it out". While I've learned enough over time that "figuring it out" doesn't work, I'm just feeling extra overwhelmed today. Stuff that happened over 7 years ago is really getting to me, I'm in this limbo state just sitting here with it all but... ...anyone have any general tips for false-memory OCD?

nothanksnott...

Date posted: 22w

Could use some support, please?

False memory OCD is such a pest. It’s really hard to deal with the feelings of certainty and anxiety, trying to discern if things are false memories or real memories, what if they’re real memories, what if my OCD is right, what if because my OCD was right about one thing it’s also right about this thing, what if it knows something I don’t or haven’t realized yet, what if the real memory it’s taking from is actually false and the false memory is true. And it’s worse because the theme and false memory is so high stakes and it’s terrifying to consider what if it’s actually true and the consequences, but that only feeds the OCD, and it doesn’t help that I keep mentally prodding at it to see if the feelings of certainty are still there. It makes the false memories seem so real, and it’s like it wants me to admit the false memory actually happened when I don’t know that it did, and I’ll never know. I try to sit with the uncertainty but my OCD makes this feel so real and it creates so much certainty that this did happen that it’s so hard to keep telling myself that I don’t know, that this could be a real memory or it might not be and I’ll never know, and to remember that this came up a few days ago and I was pretty sure it was a false memory and I was handling it. Like remembering the false memory made it an actual memory. I have no idea if any of this makes any sense - it’s getting so meta lol. Reading all of this, it’s no wonder it’s so hard to sit with the uncertainty about if it’s a real memory or false. It’s been on my mind over the last week, too, which probably doesn’t help things, because the deeper I try to delve into it, the more complicated it becomes, and trying to point out that logically, it doesn’t make any sense, doesn’t help because my OCD comes up with scenarios and what-ifs and ways that this could have happened. It’s really tough to sit with when my OCD is so convinced this is true and it wants me to be convinced, too. I could really use some support, validation, encouragement, anything. If you made it this far, thanks for reading - please take care of yourselves. ❤️🤗

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False Memory OCD Support Needed

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