sheep herder

Date posted: 13d

canceled

an old friend is canceling me. i was 15 and he was 13 all the way to 17 and 15. he has screenshots. every time i overshared about sexual topics or made jokes, it's all there. we once wrote smut together and he has screenshots of that too. i was inappropriate and did uncomfortable things but i don't think i groomed him. grooming would mean molding his behavior for my own needs but he was already like that. he was already sexual. to me it feels like a lack of communication and he initiated most of the sexual conversations but I'm losing my damn mind trying to remember what the truth even is. i feel gaslit, doubting my own memory about what happened. like, maybe i did groom him! i don't know anymore! but this person is hellbent on ruining my life and i just want him to leave me alone! how am i supposed to keep going on with my usual life when I'm constantly defined by things i did as a teenager??

ccheney0

Date posted: 13d

You need to block this kid and leave whatever platform he has access to you on. Cause taking screenshots for two years like this is nuts.

sheep herder

Date posted: 13d

there's another issue that kinda keeps him around harassing me. when we knew each other we had this shared roleplay that took place on roblox that he believes he has full ownership over. a friend and i are making our own project with elements of this old roleplay and the ex friend believes this is theft. he's been continually stalking us and recording everything we do in public. the only way for him to completely leave us alone is to either disappear from the internet entirely or give up on our passion project.

ccheney0

Date posted: 13d

@sheep herder I had a feeling this was the case. If I were you I'd lay low off Roblox for a while that place is going to be a nuthouse.

ccheney0

Date posted: 13d

@sheep herder As for the public thing, chasing you around like that is harassment, as you said. And illegal.

ccheney0

Date posted: 8d

Sorry for the delayed response. I guess I was too scared to admit I went through almost the exact same thing as you. I used to roleplay like ten odd years ago and I always worry about running into someone I used to know in that circle

King Silly

Date posted: 5d

I’m going through the same thing

ccheney0

Date posted: Yesterday

You were cancelled?

King Silly

Date posted: Yesterday

@ccheney0 Someone ATTEMPTED to cancel me, I had a beware post about me

sheep herder

Date posted: Yesterday

@King Silly Ok i feel Very Normal again and like. yeah my ex friends are /attempting/ to cancel me. the callout post only has like 30 views lmao

King Silly

Date posted: Yesterday

@sheep herder Mine are too! I’m glad to have someone who completely relates. And I’ll say theres nothing to worry about if the post has 30 views and nobody has came after you yet, my beware post made by my ex friend was made back in likeee… February 16th??

ccheney0

Date posted: Yesterday

@King Silly Yeah the coast should be clear by now. Even if they weren't successful it still hurts that they tried to crash your reputation like that.

King Silly

Date posted: Yesterday

@ccheney0 I definitely would understand that more than anything haha, i felt like my whole image was ruined only to realize nothing changed lol

sheep herder

Date posted: 20h

@King Silly they think I'm the one stalking them because i joined a discord server they're in. mind you, this server has 10k members

ccheney0

Date posted: 19h

@sheep herder It seems strange to me that he had those screenshots for literal years and then decided to put them up one day in the wake of you not giving him his way on something. Id dare to guess that you're likely not the only one he's hoarded screenshots of for situations like this.

sheep herder

Date posted: 18h

@ccheney0 oh yeah definitely. after i cut contract with him, I'd spend every night ruminating and trying to keep track of every single way i may have slighted him and mentally prepared a "defense" or explanation for every single thing because i KNEW he would do something like this in the future. then come november 2024 and he finally did it

ccheney0

Date posted: 17h

@sheep herder Was it just a gut feeling or did he say something?

sheep herder

Date posted: 17h

@ccheney0 Mostly a gut feeling, but he also stalked our ex friend when I was still friends with him. He talked behind people's backs like that all the time

ccheney0

Date posted: 16h

@sheep herder I never played roblox. But since that whole court case with that YouTuber arose I was like "great. Now they're going to think anyone who has ever roleplayed is some kind of sicko" and it's had my ocd flaring up. I haven't roleplayed in several years idk why I'm anxious but I am.

sheep herder

Date posted: 16h

@ccheney0 i did a lot of erps on roblox as a kid as an attempt to be more "mature" than i was and I've been afraid of roblox finding my chat history since i was like 12 lol

ccheney0

Date posted: 16h

@sheep herder Yeah I may have done that too -_-;. I may have gotten kicked off of neo pets several times because of this. That's where I got my start. I think they only keep records of chats for a few years though. They can't keep a record of every conversation that's ever been had that would be insane amounts of chatlog lol

sheep herder

Date posted: 15h

@ccheney0 NEO PETS??? that's a new one lol

ccheney0

Date posted: 15h

@sheep herder Yeah I go way back lol

King Silly

Date posted: 12h

@ccheney0 I keep coming back to this post because of how much I relate to this lol, it makes me feel so much more free to live, I can’t explain why. But I wanted to say to y’all that i understand how this feels more than anything unfortunately. I done things I regret when I was 15-16 with my friend/ex partner who was 13-14 (not irl) and I’m haunted by it especially since theyre trying to ruin my life too

str4berrycoo...

Date posted: 24w

how i deal with the "what ifs" (+18)

i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.

Givenup

Date posted: 21w

Pocd and triggered

I hope someone can respond... Im genuinely so triggered and so anxious... This actor was accused of grooming, giving and receiving explicit videos of underage women, and harassing women... my POCD is saying that my situation with me venting about 18+ explicit HOCD stuff to people in the PM's on an OCD groupchat I found from NOCD, including the minors, when I was 19, means that I am just as bad as they are... or worse... I pm'ed them from the support group and vented to them in private (including the minors) about my 18+ explicit HOCD struggles... one was uncomfortable by it so i stopped venting to her after she told me she was uncomfortable by it twice... the other gave me reassurance so i kept asking her for reassurance for my 18+ hocd struggles... I dont have any feelings towards minors in any way... the most i ever did was ask the 17 year old "what you bouta do about it 😂😂" when she told me to stop putting myself down when i was 19... i didnt pursue anything with her because of my age... im 23 now... i dont ever want to ever be with minors in any way...I dont ever want to ever be attracted to minors in any way... I dont ever want to ever engage in any inappropriate relations with minors in any way... i dont ever want to EVER be a MAP, a P, or a gro*mer in any way... I dont ever want to be what my pocd says about me... im so scared... plus now its saying that I called the second minor "cute" when i have no recollection of ever doing so... im also scared that I will get cancelled or being misunderstood because of this... someone said that I need help, that I need to turn myself in, and that im hiding behind a diagnosis because of this situation... i genuinely feel so hopeless...

vamp_

Date posted: 9w

was it bad??

hi so i was friends for like 3 years with a girl two years younger than me, when i was 16 she was 14. but we didn't feel the age gap at all and i mostly felt like she's more 'mature'than me so we got along, she was pretty mean to ne thought all our friendship. she was texting with on girl like she was 18 or whatever? and she was rlly weird towards her and we were bpth making fun of thst girl calling her a groomer cuz she was acting this way. but im scared because I didn't do anythin about it sure i told her she's weird and she should stop texting her but it was more jokingly so she didn't listen probably, we could never talk normally like no jokingly. we were dating at some point tho when i was 15(age of consent in my country) she was 13 and yeah we were jokingly like flirting and also i guess sexual jokes or sharing nsfw art..was that illegal or something? i never tried to hurt anyone and all our friendship was online and mostly jokingly cuz we never could be serious about eachother cuz she was pretty rude. i asked her if i groomed her or whatever and she said smth like i can't even groom anyone since im 15 or whatever and that I didn't but still i asked her to like delete conversations out of ocd compulsion or whatever and she did was annoyed tho that im being paranoid again. we don't have contact now, i brooe it cuz she was pretyy toxic but did i groom her? ik grooming is a form of manipulation and i didn't manipulate her at all but yeah

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