I’ve been signed off work for two weeks. My ocd is literally making my life a living hell I’m still completely convinced I’m riddled with STDs despite negative results. I’m convinced my conjunctivitis was caused by STDs and I will infect myself and my partner will leave me assuming I cheated. I cannot accept this happening. I won’t hesitate to flip out if that ever happened. I cannot live in uncertainty I absolutely won’t

I got super scared by it and discouraged because I’m on a waiting list now of 6 fucking months Work makes it worse too. I got a gigantic bogey on my hand the other week on the goddamn printer and I also know someone in my office is HIV positive I have not slept with anyone else certainly not. I’m absolutely in total love with my partner. We have been together a year but my eye symptoms showed up like 4 months ago. Then I freaked - oh god what if I had one in my eye all this time? STDs can cause conjunctivitis how the hell will I explain this? He’s obviously gonna think I cheated when I didn’t and leave me. I can’t relax. I can’t enjoy life I just want to be swabbed and no one will do it

@uwotm8 Oh too of that I have vaginal itching and sometimes butt (sorry tmi) I feel like I have infected myself from eye to genitals by being not careful enough

@uwotm8 I don’t want to try and give you reassurance, but you’ve already been tested like 100 times. You don’t have an STD, period. So any thoughts telling you that you do are just OCD lies and should be disregarded immediately. Keep doing ERP with this because your brain needs to be rewired so that these lies no longer feel real.

@dpveritasgold I know. But I don’t know *exactly* what caused my conjunctivitis so I can’t let it go. I read that STDs can cause conjunctivitis therefore I feel riddled. I’m not satisfied with “it’s fine” when I know that information

@dpveritasgold And then what if I did have it in my eye all this time and not my genitals and I infect myself I won’t be able to explain that. He will think I’m cheating scum and leave me. I can’t have that. If that happens I won’t stick around to deal with that

@uwotm8 Sometimes an STD can cause conjunctivitis (which obviously is not the case in your situation), but conjunctivitis NEVER causes an STD. It doesn’t work backwards. Go ask any doctor and they’ll tell you that. Also, have you been honest with your bf and told him how you feel?

@dpveritasgold I just keep thinking, if for arguments sake it WERE conjunctivitis caused by an std, surely if it’s the same bacteria then it could infect me that way if I got chlamydia/gonhorea eye gunk near or even in my genitals... I haven’t no because how the hell do I explain that without sounding like I need dumping for being seen as a whore with reason to worry or being sectioned for being crazy

@uwotm8 Well, I would start by explaining to him that you have OCD and what it entails first. I think telling him will lift a weight off your shoulders because you’ll see that he’s not going to leave you over this and you don’t have to worry.

@dpveritasgold Do you think my above comment sounds irrational? I think it sounds possible ? He knows I have ocd and when I brought this up before it caused issues because the nature of it, he’s been cheated on before so it’s complicated

@uwotm8 Sorry I’m just now commenting. Your comment about your bf’s reaction isn’t irrational. I understand why you would feel that way. But if this guy really cares about you I think he’ll support you through this struggle. He wouldn’t think you’re a whore for having OCD. Your comment on the conjunctivitis however is irrational. There is 0 medical evidence to support the claim that an eye infection can cause an STD. If you need me to, I’ll get you a direct answer from my good friend who is a doctor.

@dpveritasgold Thankyou for responding. I’m just so confused why I can’t accept I’m okay? If you could that would be a big help yes please

@uwotm8 Yes, he confirmed conjunctivitis cannot cause an STD.