rough day

had a rough day. my religion ocd has been taking over my relationship with God and its been scaring me and giving me anxiety. i had a breakdown after a bible study with my friends i’ve made at school… and i had to go to the bathroom to have a moment and one of the girls that’s rlly close with God came in because i asked my guy friend to call for her. since it’s a worship type of group ive joined and i just cried. i’ve also felt so exhausted with academic stuff and it’s been tuff i felt like a whole burn out and stuff. especially listening to worship music i feel this type of vibe like i don’t like it. and it makes me have anxiety and doubt my relationship with God. i use to be so hidden but now i’m slowly opening towards people. i’ve had thoughts like “what if i don’t believe in God” or “what if i don’t wanna have a relationship with God” or “why does this feel like a job?” or “what if i’m lying to myself and i actually don’t want to pray” or like “i’m so tired of praying” and i just had this wave of tiredness and anxiety. i think it’s also i’m so scared to give my life to God because i don’t know what’s gonna happen.

AnonymouslyB...

Date posted: 10h

I know what that feels like. As a Christian, I can relate to this. I think the main reason I'm struggling with OCD is my core fear of not being good enough, especially to God. But He never looks at us that way. He sees His daughter when He looks at you. I know following Him is scary, but it's worth it. I know from experience. Don't let OCD or any form of fear stop you from getting closer to Him. One of the best things He's been teaching me is to trust in Him instead of myself or others. You're going to be okay

savannahframe19

Date posted: 10h

@AnonymouslyBroken❤️‍🩹 thank you so much and it’s so hard to tell if it’s ocd or real ugh

AnonymouslyB...

Date posted: 9h

I know it is but sometimes we just need to sit in the discomfort. I do better when I do stuff. I write stories to get my mind off of whatever's bothering me. I know I'm good at it and it lets me be creative. Like if I'm not busy and just hanging out in my room and let my mind go wandering I later feel or believe that I did something bad in that period of time. I've been doing that the past couple days and I feel like I'm crazy or something.

savannahframe19

Date posted: 9h

@AnonymouslyBroken❤️‍🩹 i just feel like everything with God is triggering and especially playing worship music and i’m having like images and thoughts of thinking i don’t like it

AnonymouslyB...

Date posted: 9h

Try these songs: - "The Truth" by Megan Woods - "Better" by Britt Nicole -"Learning how to love myself" by Katy Nicole -" Flowers" by Samantha Ebert Try these songs and tell me how you feel later, ok? I'll be praying for you

Kind heart 320

Date posted: 5h

God loves you for you. If you feel overwhelmed it’s ok to pause what you are doing. That doesn’t mean you are walking away from God. God wants you to be happy always ❤️

savannahframe19

Date posted: 4h

@Kind heart 320 thank you so much i’ve just been overwhelmed over all

Anonymous

Date posted: 8h

I constantly feel like I’ll go to hell because of past mistakes and that I don’t feel like I’m good enough. It’s hard.

savannahframe19

Date posted: 7h

@Anonymous i totally understand what u are going through u got this!! God loves us all

Kind heart 320

Date posted: 4h

@savannahframe19 You’re very welcome! I totally get that! I’ve been the same way lately just stuck in my head. And you don’t have to know all the answers to the questions you are asking yourself ( I mean in your post) that’s ok to feel those things. You just listen to your heart and you will know the answers. And sometimes those answers aren’t always black and white ya know and that’s ok too. That’s the beautiful thing about life, you don’t have to know it all - all at once- if that makes any sense

xxoxxooo

Date posted: 19w

Nearly a week since I stopped in the middle of a compulsion and I still feel stressed and tempted to finish it. My throat, ears, head, chest, legs,arms, my body has been hurting since then. And if I finish it will it stop? But what's stopping me is.. I've been trying to trust God to handle it. Idk what to do rn, Ive been trying to set up a schedule for this week but it ended up not working out so I will try again next week, and School work I'm years behind (I'm in yr 10), I don't rlly have any friends either to help me. But anyways I try not to think about school that much since I have alot more to think about. And I don't even have any talent or anything I want to be I just want to be a good person but I'm horrible I just need to do focus on stuff Like getting closer to God. looking after myself. The OCD thoughts which. I can't do any of these tho because the OCD makes me so stressed I just want to hit the OCD in the face but I can't obviously so I do it to myself, And they make me want to do more to myself but I don't because ✝️ And I don't want to. Anyways I can't even do the basic things to look after yourself, and The OCD thoughts keep saying about death all the time, and illness. I don't like hearing it in my head all the time I can't do anything properly. And Those thoughts are active when I try read the Bible. Even when I used an audio bible. And a app where u read 1 verse at a time it's still hard. But basically what do I do My throat keeps feeling weird like burning without the feeling hot ughhshsheh I don't want to go back into that life when I was 12-13 where I was worrying about my health and checking with doctor all the time

eafik36

Date posted: 15w

Stuff

It’s getting so bad I think I’ve been dealing with scrupulosity but I’m always doubting if it’s actually ocd or if I’m just telling myself that as a excuse for being a “bad Christian”. It’s not only that, it’s everything I have had ocd thought loops in the past but they’ve been so unbearable lately and once one goes away another one starts. It’s been really focused on making me feel liek everything is my fault and I don’t know how to stop that when it actually could be. Then there’s this guy we were talking and he was telling me what he needed out of a relationship and asked me to tell him the same and now I’m so scared I’m gonna ruin something he said trust is really important to him. I was taking to one of our shared friends about us and I’m scared I said something he wouldn’t wanted me to say and that he’s not going to trust me now and I keep thinking about how I really should not have talked to her and it’s killing me. I’m also scared that I’m not gonna tell him something that happened in the past because I don’t think it’s important and he’s going to find out and be mad I feel like rocd is ruining my relationship that’s not even a relationship yet. I just keep thinking through all the different scenarios how I could ruin us up or it could work and I promise myself it will be the last time I think about it and it never is and it’s just constant from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep and then I think maybe Gods just trying to warn me but I’m so exhausted or being this anxious because that doesn’t seem like Him but then maybe it is and I’m just trying to get what I want. I want to ask for help so bad but every time I do it feels like there really isn’t anything wrong and I don’t actually have any ocd. I don’t want to talk to my family about it, when it’s come up before they either make rude comments or make fun of me for it they really just don’t understand and I don’t know what to do anymore. sometimes it doesn’t even feel like it’s worth getting better tbh. Thank you for reading it all if you did :)

Cammy123

Date posted: 12w

Religious OCD

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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rough day

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