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First just want to say you are taking the first big step and that is beginning to talk about the really hard stuff. My advice is start slow and ease into the conversation with your therapist. As you get more comfortable you can begin to share more. What I have found is I didn't start to get better until I opened up about the taboo thoughts, feelings, urges, and actions. It can be uncomfortable but on the other hand it is good to let someone else in to understand that burden you are carrying. OCD wants us to believe we have to go this alone and for sure I can tell you we are meant take this journey with community, especially our therapist. Remember small steps are still progress despite what OCD might tell us. We all make mistakes or have done things we wish we wouldn't have but they don't define who we are as a person. It does get better and easier as we go through therapy. All the best to you on the journey ahead...You got this...God bless...

I can definitely relate. I was more sheltered growing up and made lots of mistakes and hung around the wrong crowd in my early twenties. That time carries a lot of shame for me and I have been able to open up about some experiences in therapy. So definitely know you are not alone! Also what’s helped me is remembering that you never know other people’s experiences even if you highly doubt they would do similar things/make similar mistakes —you just don’t know what they’ve been through or what their story is. Please remember to show yourself and your past self grace and compassion💕 It’s taken me a while to forgive myself for how I acted in the past but I’ve accepted things now and feel more peace. All you can do is try to be better each new day. You got this! And you are so brave for beginning therapy. Helps to remember that this is a safe place and the therapists are here to support you—not judge you. Sending you positive energy!

I have made big mistakes too. I know how stressful and anxiety inducing it is to tell your therapist. But I’ve told both therapists I’ve had, an NOCD therapist I used to work with and my current therapist who is specialized in OCD. I didn’t start talking about it right away but I kind of slowly leaned towards the conversation until I felt comfortable enough to talk about it fully. Neither therapist flinched. If anything my therapist has me using it as ERP lol. You definitely don’t have to talk about anything you don’t feel ready for but your therapist has got you. They are not there to scare or hurt you, they are there to help. you’ve got this, even if ocd wants to make you believe you don’t

just turned 20 a few months ago and i feel like i’m constantly making mistakes my ocd latches onto :/ particularly with the fanfiction i can relate. idk i just wish i was “normal”. you’re absolutely not alone in this at all.

You are stronger than you know, glad you are on the journey to recovery...It takes a lot of courage to take that first step and a long the way remember self-compassion is important...Better days ahead...Best...

1. Had the same experience with a therapist asking me for details, super hard to do but had to give them details. Therapist still wasn’t worried. Knew it was OCD 2. I was also homeschooled with a porn addiction (still struggle) and also can relate to recognizing the wrongness of my actions later on 3. Also did things as a late teenager early adult, not proud of it and had to work through it. I attribute a lot of it to OCD even still 4. Your therapist will understand especially if they’re trained in OCD. If they’re encouraging you to share details because it will help you move on and learn to work through it, then do it- it may actually help you being that you’re saying the things out loud. Let me know how it goes!

Hi. We had spoke about a year ago about porn addiction and how you struggle with POCD. I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm trying to stay ERP about these fears and these things they have happened. I recently had a terrible binge with porn and what I was watching got really disturbing, extreme, and flat out abusive. All of that stuff I can recall if fictional but it's still honestly disgusting that I sat through watching that. Then I escalated even further to ai generated content which honestly just mentally scarred me. I remember reading gross fan fictions about cartoons I watched but though nothing of it at the time. It was a lot worse but I don't want to keep sharing because I don't want to trigger anyone here. That week when I relapsed I just said to myself "No, I seriously can't keep spending my life watching these things over and over again" and now it's been 4 days since I stopped. I hope this is the last time I have this low point happen in my life because I really don't want it to repeat. I just want to be free of these things. I relate so much when it comes to telling your therapist. On one hand, you feel like you don't want to because of the shame that eats you up, but on the other hand, you really want to get it out there, tell someone, and get that help you need through ERP. I agree with Nitro929. You should go at a steady pace when it comes to talking about all of these things. My biggest fear with my porn addiction is that if people knew what I was watching, knew how bad my viewing habits got, they would ostracize me. They would view me in a negative light. Or worse, I would be considered some kind of disgusting deviant. Or even worse then that, I'm classified as some sort of sex offender or criminal. This has been a struggle for me since I was 13. When I was 16, that was the first time I can recall how uncomfortable I was with this compulsive habit, and it hasn't changed many years later. I hope this helps.

Don’t have time to respond now but can totally relate. You’re not alone :)