Does anyone else clench in response to intrusive thoughts?

@3rdalbum Thank you so much, my friend. I know it’s just really hard for me because I think in the moment I just did it out of like as a compulsion I guess to like I can constantly feel like in the moment that I was in control and I was I guess trying my best to ignore it but now I keep like thinking, but what if I wasn’t and I was actually just clenching in response to the intrusive thoughts because I liked it😓

@andrea_sam730 As much as we feel like we are in control, honestly, I also feel like OCD uses our physical bodies as its puppet (if that makes any sense). OCD makes us do what it wants, and it is so incredibly hard to cope with. I wish you luck in your walk with OCD. 🫂 You are not a monster.

@3rdalbum Hi my friend 😓 sorry to disturb u I’m really struggling right now. I had an intrusive thought while I was already feeling somewhat aroused, and I ended up clenching down there something that’s become a habit for me because of my OCD. The confusing part is that sometimes I clench when I’m anxious or doing a compulsion, but also when I’m normally aroused to appropriate things, so it’s hard to tell the difference. This time it actually felt like I did it because I liked the thought, which terrified me. I even said “no” out loud to reject it, but then my brain started saying, “What if you only said no to make an excuse? What if you really did it because it felt good?” Now everything feels blurry and I can’t tell what was automatic and what was intentional. I’m trying to remind myself that bodies can react automatically and that a physical reaction doesn’t define my intent — saying “no” showed what I truly meant. But it’s so hard not to review it over and over. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of overlap between intrusive thoughts, body reactions, and compulsions?

@andrea_sam730 Sorry to get back so late! But honestly I think acknowledging the feeling was a good step, instead of vehemently ignoring it or trying to shove it away. You let the feeling pass even if it was scary, which takes a lot of strength to do! I think the mental reviewing is another compulsion in itself (which I experience regularly) but again, this is your OCD trying to turn every little thing you do against you. You know your morals, you know what you want and don't want. OCD really likes to make you think "ahh but what if you DO like this, what it you DO want this". It's a trap every time!! When this happens, don't true to argue nor accept it. Just let the storm pass (it's easier said than done I know). Also, I've definitely had a combined intrusive thought + reaction + checking compulsion before, you aren't alone.