getting into a « relationship » with severe ocd

I had a crush on this person for a while and we started seeing each other, and we had a good time he invited me to a hardcore concert and I told him that i have OCD (harm and POCD) and my thoughts are starting to target him which ruined it, and i explained to him everything and told him that i like him but i do need some time to myself to recover until we see each other again, they truly are the sweetest and most amazing person i’ve met, is this a wise a decision i just don’t want to hurt them, and i would like to spend more time together, but i feel like i don’t deserve such kindness because of my monstrous thoughts.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23d

Hi there So I suffer with ROCD and the fear is focused on the person I am with is cheating on me. Can I ask when you say target him what dk you mean?

angelofdef

Date posted: 23d

@Anonymous my intrusive thoughts started targeting him, and my intrusive thoughts are about harm and s*xual assault, i’m scared to lose control and hurt him

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23d

I can relate a lot to you because I've had a similar issue. I'd like you to reflect on this question: are you distancing yourself from him because that's what you truly want? Or is it possible your'e distancing yourself from him as an avoidance compulsion? Ocd often makes that line very blurry for us sufferers. If you truly want to take time away from him (not guided by your Ocd) then that's totally okay. If your value is to be with him, I think it would be a good exposure opportunity (as you practice response prevention). And who knows, maybe this could go super well and you get to have an amazing romantic partner? :) If you truly want him, I think it would be best to take that opportunity while still he's available

angelofdef

Date posted: 23d

@Love1another<3 that’s the thing i think it’s a compulsion i’m scared to hurt him and told him i needed time to get myself together, but he told me he will still be here while, and i really want to be with him and now i’m scared

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23d

@angelofdef I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. I know how hard it must be. I will suggest to act according to your values while you do ERP therapy at the same time (with a therapist or by yourself if a therapist isn’t affordable). ERP is life changing and will decrease your stress levels regarding any issue you use ERP on

Anonymous

Date posted: 20d

Soooo i can relate to all this In my case, its very challenging on multiple fronts… I have been in a 4 year relationship where we broke up twice got back together and are on a break now. Whats so hard here is there is love a lot of love, but in many ways we are a mismatch which blurs the lines. I love closeness and she loves space. And it turns into a pursuer / distancer dynamic. So it becomes really hard to deal with that in addition to my ROCD which in my case is a deep rooted fear that I am be cheated on. Anyone have that deep fear as the main focus of their ROCD? This also combined with I think I put up with may too much Sh*t because while I can be alone, j really dont like to be. Now I'm just sad… I have done a lot of work through ERP but just nervous I will just be alone rest of my life because or largly due to the ROCD

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