How do I tackle ERP

But I feel as though that's not fair to my girlfriend. If it's true that means she's with someone who wants to think about someone he shouldn't. And she doesn't deserve that. I know certainty isn't an option but it's not fair to her if it's true. And I don't know what accepting means. I let the images in ?? What happens then. What if I engage past the point of intrusion.

@boardsilly05 You have to trust the process. Accept the uncertainty, and all the guilt and other worries that come after. Maybe it’s not fair to your gf. When your brain throws the next thing at you, say maybe to that as well. You might feel like you’re doing something wrong or feel guilty, and continue trying to accept and disengage anyway. Don’t do anything about it. When you find yourself ruminating again, engaging with the thoughts, and trying to figure out the truth (which totally happens involuntarily a lot), notice it as soon as you can and recenter back to “maybe, maybe not” and the present moment. It’s all about repetitively using your willpower to stop trying to figure it out. “Accepting” can just mean working towards meeting the thoughts with “maybe” and choosing to move forward. And yeah, let the images in! But don’t sit there and intentionally dwell on them. Just let them pop up and be there while you refocus on the present.

@OutstandingCutieDisorder It feels like that's what I'm doing though . Like when they arrive I dwell on them for a matter of seconds. It's the scariest thing because they are always there. And I want them to go away. But it still feels like I'm letting them in past the point of intrusion and I'm just dwelling on them

@boardsilly05 Oh I see what you’re saying. Anything happening in your brain for a matter of seconds in out of your control. Let it happen, and if you wonder if you’re dwelling or enjoying it, say maybe I am. When I say don’t dwell, I mean don’t sit for minutes/hours intentionally focusing on it. But you can’t control the reactions and thoughts that pop up, so just let them.