Groinal help??

When I think about traumatic things that happened to me as a child or weird, disturbing acts that I did as a child due to trauma and being hypersexual, it gives me sensations down there. Which then leads to a compulsion of me testing myself mentally down there which makes the sensation stronger. It can reach a climax if I continue the test and compulsion, which is weird because I do not even touch myself it’s like a mental thing. I would never want these things to happen to me again and for the acts that I did, I would never want to do them again. I just feel weird and gross right now, and I feel like I am a bad person or like there is a risk of me doing weird things again. Also, in the moment when these triggers or compulsions are happening, my brain and body have a sense of rejection and discuss towards it, but also a curiosity to finish the compulsion or continue ruminating about it. I do not watch any negative or inappropriate material or watch anything of that nature to be honest . I feel very upset with myself as I’ve been doing OK with my OCD and trauma but it’s just recently gotten bad today. I think it might be because I’m on my period.

shewasafairyy

Date posted: Yesterday

My period always makes me feel terrible- OCD is really sensitive to the hormonal changes & I think you need to be gentle with yourself. This all sounds like classic OCD. Although, asking for reassurance isn’t going to help you- it will only add fuel to it. I hope you feel better soon. You will get through this. You yourself even said this is something upsetting and unwanted. Sounds totally intrusive and not like something you enjoy at all. I’m so sorry you’re going through that.

dee012

Date posted: Yesterday

@shewasafairyy Thank you for your kind comment. It’s kind of like it was distressing and worrisome, but I’ve been through this before and I used to be pretty bad when I was very depressed, so I know I can get through it, it’s just going through. it isn’t really anything positive… it also just sucks because a lot of these things happen to me as a child or things that I did on my own as a child my brain uses it as proof. I’m going to give myself grace and not beat myself up about it.

ocdmememachine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

I mean your body is scanning all the time based on what you said in this post. So how would you know if its really bc of the past or just you hypofocusing on your part of the body? Like another example of this to give context is when my heart beats fast and because its beating fast I am fearing a heart attack even though the real reason is I exercise for 45 minutes but because i am scanning the body i think of the worst case scenario

dee012

Date posted: Yesterday

@ocdmememachine Yes, every time an intrusive thought comes up or a memory of something weird I did as a kid, it’s like my body automatically becomes on hyper alert, which makes the sensation stronger. This happens with things of these weird themes of OCD, for example, health issues. Sometimes for me, it’s headaches or my eyesight. I think this one is more concerning to me because of the context of all of it, but thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate it.

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