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I can definitely relate to ocd around causing harm to others making situations like this harder, making it much easier to second guess yourself. I’d imagine that some of these former friends aren’t being particularly understanding and are adding to your self doubt, maybe asserting their feelings about it and ignoring yours? The thing about ending toxic relationships is that it can both cause “harm” (in that the other person/people may feel badly about it) and be the right thing to do. Almost everyone is hurt when they’re broken up with, and no one should stay in a relationship that’s harming them or that they don’t want to be in just to avoid causing that hurt. Not even just for their own sake, it can end up being worse for the person who should be broken up with because they’re getting the feedback that their unacceptable behaviors are at least somewhat acceptable. Causing the “harm” (triggering difficult emotions) of setting boundaries with them may help them in the long term. It may be a learning moment or factor motivating them to change later on. So if your ocd’s saying “what if I hurt them?” it might be helpful to respond with “yeah, I might have. They might be upset with me, or think that what I said calmly and truthfully was rude because it triggered their shame. And that might be the best thing I could’ve done for both them and me regardless.”