Nightmares

Thank you so much for sharing , faith! I appreciate your vulnerability and openness I was wondering if you are working with an OCD specialized therapist currently ? I feel like they will be able to give you really good advice and strategies, but I also understand that being able to afford therapy and having insurance that covers them is a privilege that some people don’t have. What I’ve learned from OCD therapy is that the discomfort and the feeling of intense guilt and that it sucks so bad, in intrusive thoughts about a certain thing (in this case, your boyfriend cheating on you and the guilt of painting him in a bad light), those feelings will continue and amplify the more we buy into the idea that having these thoughts and feelings are not ultimately safe, and will amplify the more we engage in the urges to attempt to get rid of those feelings. Personally, (of course if this doesn’t feel helpful to you, please ignore and don’t take it), I would use some kind of externalization to say those thoughts and details of those night terrors if it feels manageable, and then do some mindful breathing and sit with the experiences of being with those thoughts and details of the night terrors. I would start with like maybe one minute and then gradually work up to 5 minutes each session where I sit with the feelings while looking at the thoughts that I wrote down or recorded in a voice message, and I would sit in a neutral position and try not to get rid of them, and simply just being with them and observing them for about like one minute (and then gradually increasing to five minutes )) I really hope that you’ll be able to find an OCD Therapist work through this, if you don’t have one already!

Not trying to reassure you, but I’m pretty sure you’re having those recurring dreams because you really value your relationship. It’s possible you have some betrayal trauma from the past. You’re okay. You’re relationship is okay. You’re safe. Dreams are just random thoughts, much like OCD. Let them exist, let them get tired of repeating themselves, and let them fade away like everything else in life.