ROCD or real doubts?

How do you tell the difference? I’ve been officially dating my boyfriend for three weeks, but realistically we’ve been pretty much a couple since September. I was idealizing him pretty hard from October until last week, I won’t lie. I felt like I was chasing him, and now that I finally have him, the dopamine dropped. Which would be fine, normally, except when we were in the car last Saturday, he made a cringe joke. Nothing crazy, nothing that went against my ideals, just.. cringe. I suppose it gave me an “ick”. But my body reacted completely disproportionately, telling me “oh my god I have to get out of this car now”. I was immediately hit with a sense of dread, guilt, and impending doom. Feeling like I was going to have to break up with him eventually. But what we have is great, and up until then I was really sure i liked him. I still feel warmness towards him and enjoy hanging out, but dear god I can’t stop ruminating, testing, and just feeling guilty. Deep down, I don’t want to break up. But my body keeps telling me to run and feels so real though, even though it’s not what I want.

ROCDmensch

Date posted: 21h

These thought spirals are very common with rocd. Most of the time people with rocd have a set of rules for how to feel in a relationship. They attach meaning to feelings even though these are normal human experiences in relationships. You need to do a combination of things. First, sit with the uncomfortable feeling sit with doubt. Don't try to change how you feel, don't argue with your rocd. Maybe the "ick" means something, maybe not... Don't do compulsions. It's good to write down what your compulsions are... Also take a look at your beliefs surrounding relationships and try to change these expectations into something realistic. Write it down. Read it to yourself. Practice radical (self) acceptance

#Lexiriri

Date posted: 17h

This does partially sound like OCD, but it also just sounds like just normal relationship things. When you first started dating it was brand new, you were in the honeymoon phase, now it’s 3 or 4 months later you’re comfortable with each other and the honeymoon phase is wearing off. Then something happened and it just took of the rose colored glasses, that ick you got I would say was probably less if the actual ick and the shock and unconscious realization that oh he’s a person he’s not perfect and he does weird and stupid shit sometime. The fact that you keep ruminating on it and your body keeps telling you to get out when you don’t want to that’s the OCD part coming into play. Something that I do when I get into one of these loops is ask myself how would I actually feel if my boyfriend wasn’t in my life anymore and I didn’t get to see him again, and the answer I always end up with is I’d be devastated and miss him. Don’t focus on what you’re OCD is telling or if your really mad about a situation don’t focus on that, just focus on if this person basically fell of the planet and I could never see them again how would I feel if I knew I couldn’t see them again. If the answer is sad then there you go, if the answer is I’d be okay then maybe evaluate that further and figure out why that is so you know what is best to do.

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