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So...I could've written this same post!!! I have a neice who had a baby girl this past April, her name is Hazel. She is an amazing, beautiful, perfect little baby and her parents are amazing people too. She's 8 months old now and has grown so much already. I see her often, the last time was thanksgiving. She seems to react so positively with everyone, except me. She cries when I hold her and turns away when I attempt to inner act with her. So, I try no to be pushy. But yeah, my inner OCD voice wants to condemn me and beat me up, especially being a male... These are the thoughts we can definitely identify as intrusive and unwanted. There's no merit to them, honestly. And because you value your baby cousin and also value your desired future, OCD is going to latch on to this. Just allow these unwanted thoughts to come and they will go. We have to avoid reacting to these thoughts, they don't deserve our attention. They, these pesty thoughts, are like little gremlins who just want to annoy us. We can separate from and overcome them. Along with that, I find it's helpful to build positives. Who am I? What do I value? And train my thoughts around those important, real things. Your struggle with this is more proof of the caring person you really are, that's reality. Hope I can turn your frown upside down today. :-)

My mom had this fear and she shared it with me. She used to be so scared of accidentally being negligent or poisoning us or us having freak accidents. When I started having ocd she told me about it and that she felt so alone and ashamed because of her thoughts. She was the BEST mom ever. Those fears attached to her because of how much she cared and loved us. Your thoughts do not make you incapable of being a mom one day.