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I get this. My ex is a theme for me as well. While all of these thoughts are normal, and we can romanticize the past (or even just accept the good parts of it while accepting the uncertainty of what could have been), our beliefs deem these thoughts as inappropriate, so we keep getting them. OCD took my last relationship from me, so there is real grief there, but I feel guilty from the grief. My current partner is incredible and I just want to live a happy life with her, regardless of what could have been. Continuing on the ERP journey i feel is the best way to get to a state of recovery. Life is messy, feelings are messy, and that’s all ok