Sexual OCD / fetish fears — looking to connect

Hi everyone, I’m posting because I’m struggling and I feel very alone with this. I’ve dealt with intrusive sexual thoughts and themes for most of my life, but I only recently started realizing how much OCD/anxiety may be driving it. My obsessions are heavily tied to sexuality, identity, and past experiences, and my mind constantly interrogates what those experiences “mean” about who I am. What makes this especially hard is that my history isn’t clean or simple — there were times when I engaged with porn, fantasies, and even real situations that now feel like evidence my brain won’t stop prosecuting. I’m stuck in loops of rumination, memory review, arousal-checking, shame, and fear that I was “never normal” or that I’m fundamentally broken. Right now, the hardest parts are: • feeling like I don’t know who I am anymore • being terrified that my past defines me permanently • anxiety that doesn’t shut off, even when I understand OCD intellectually • trying to function (work, daily life) while my mind is in constant threat mode I’m not looking for reassurance or diagnosis — just connection. I’d really like to hear from others who deal with sexual OCD, fetish-related obsessions, false memory, or identity-focused rumination, especially if your OCD latched onto things that once felt real or confusing rather than purely “random” thoughts. If this resonates with you, I’d appreciate knowing I’m not the only one navigating this. Even a short reply helps. Thanks for reading.

thatguytron32

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22h

Thanks for sharing. Stop 🛑 responding to your symptoms with your mind. Let your brain muscle relax so you can hear OCD screaming through all its different forms.. thoughts/emotions/nightmares/urges which feel like way too good for no good reason 😏😂. Then you relax. Which you could literally practice right now. You are not the OCD but you cannot see while (at least up there 🧠🧠) trying to figure it out.. it doesn’t work. If you’re ruminating on a subject which has ONLY become subjective once the symptoms blew up in your face, you know it’s not reall. You have to stop following or paying attention to the symptoms. If you simply resist responding you’ll stay present and literally watch the ridiculous ocd creature thing go crazy in your body. It’s a brain disorder. Or heals by itself if you slow it down by removing yourself from the convo.. walk out 🎤 ☮️❤️

Overtinkerer 🐢

Date posted: 21h

I'm terribly sorry that you have to go trough that it fucking sucks and I can relate so much you in this one you definitely aren't alone in this struggle! I unfortunately don't really have advice, besides if your job position isn't being threatened and you can then getting sick days for that is more than valid and a good thing I did as well for a week but I don't know how it is in your position. And please don't hesitate reaching out for help or if you wanna talk about it, I and many more would be more than glad to do so!

ocd1101

Date posted: 21h

@Overtinkerer 🐢 Can we please talk? I desperately need to feel not alone. Life doesn’t make sense to me at this point. Like I don’t even know what all of this is about.

Overtinkerer 🐢

Date posted: 20h

@ocd1101 Of course we can! We can in this thread/comments section or DMs whatever you feel more comfortable!

ocd1101

Date posted: 20h

@Overtinkerer 🐢 How can I DM you?

Overtinkerer 🐢

Date posted: 20h

@ocd1101 Damn my bad this app does not have that I kinda assumed it did 😅 uhh I guess I can give you my discord?

ocd1101

Date posted: 19h

@Overtinkerer 🐢 Would you mind sharing your story? I really need to feel seen :( I feel defeated and the shame and guilt is eating me alive

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

I’m extremely surprised at the level of relatability I found with this post. It goes to show, we are not alone!

ocd1101

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous Really feels good to know I’m not alone! Wish we could connect somehow.

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