rocd?? help

hi im so scared i dont know if my thoughts are real or not. i got with my boyfriend three months after my failed talking stage and i was still sad after it and i was still sometimes crying or telling my friends that what the person did still hurts me. i used to watch sad tik toks about being hurt or on new yorks eve (2024 going to 2025) i was watching sad tik toks like this and there was a sad tik tok with some poetic sentences about leaving someone in the year with sad song and sad romantic??? sentence and i liked it put in in favourites and sent mt friends? (i didnt tell mt boyfriend i did that) and i also sent them tik toks like in some days the year you loved me is going to end and i also told them how sad i am etc and i cried to sad songs and later burried my pictures with this person . i told my boyfriend that i was still sad about what this guy did to me but i didnt tell him everything in details. i also used to write poems about him later but not directly about him they were about the pain, being hurt or being strangers when we used to haf something. i started stressing that i might've told or text my friends on new yorks eve 24-25 i love him or i had a thought like this. few months ago i checked the groupchat with my two girl friends and there wasnt anything like i love him but im stressing that it might've been on tik tok. im also stressing because i just remembered that i sometimes used to reread old chats eith this guy.

Alie:)

Date posted: 20h

Hi, I read what you wrote and first thing I want to say is that you’re really courageous. I don’t know the whole story but even if you still keep thinking about the guy that hurt you ( which is normal, grief about past relationships take time even if you have someone new ) the fact that you’re stressing over the fact that you didn’t tell your boyfriend everything shows that you care for him, the fact that you didn’t tell him everything doesn’t make you a bad person or someone who’s lying and if you don’t remember having kissed the picture or having liked those TikToks, either if you did it or not don’t make you someone terrible who don’t like your boyfriend, that makes you someone human that have emotions

varen

Date posted: 20h

i dont think about the guy anymore im fully healed. i remember that i liked these tik toks sorry if i didnt explain it very well but english is not my first language. i used to still be sad a year ago 2024 going to 2025 and sometimes in the beginning of 2025. and im scared that i should tell him everything in details and im scared that if i do hes gonna be hurt and im also scared that if i dont tell him nothing will be okay

Alie:)

Date posted: 20h

@varen You had the right to like those TikToks 🫶🏻, you had the right to heal and be sad about a past relationship and you have every right not to tell everything to your boyfriend :) that doesn’t make you someone terrible who is hiding a truth

varen

Date posted: 20h

@Alie:) thank you:) i was even stressing that it might've been some kind of emotional cheating since i was still grieving someone else who used to be in my life. i saw that you also posted few minutes ago and i would like to help you aswell as soon as ill "ground"?? with the thoughts i have now because i dont think rationally now

Alie:)

Date posted: 20h

@varen Don’t worry for me but thank you ! And it wasn’t emotional cheating, I promise you 🫶🏻

varen

Date posted: 22h

and also i just remembered that i cried with this pictures on new yorka wve and im scared that i might've kissed the picture but im sure i holded it while crying

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