I feel set back

TRIGGER WARNING: topics related to girl best friend of boyfriend, mentions of infidelity, and possible triggers for ROCD This is a long post, so I’ll ask that you stick with me. On Wednesday night, I was approached by my boyfriend, being accused of saying or doing things I never did. It all came from his female best friend, who he had kissed before when they were freshman in college. I had become friends with this girl in the hopes that I could branch out, and seeing that she too had OCD, could maybe learn something from her. I would talk to her about my intrusive thoughts, the same ones I’d speak to my boyfriend about. That night, the two of them confronted me over text with hurtful and untrue statements, which made me feel powerless, confused and deeply hurt. I was accused of saying the two of them were cheating, when that hadn’t been something I had mentioned in months. He had originally kept her a secret, and had not revealed who she was, or her importance to him when we started dating. It wasn’t until I questioned his behavior with her that he finally admitted to it. Last Friday (the 20th) I went out to eat with the three of them to celebrate her engagement. She had gotten two meals, one to share with her fiancé and bring it home to him, and a steak for herself which was undercooked. She had sent it back, and despite the entire table sharing their appetizers with my boyfriend, he immediately offered her some of his food, completely focusing on her and insisting she take some. He then made a comment about “finding the best pieces for her” and this made me uncomfortable, seeing as I didn’t understand why this was not offered around, and his demeanor seemed very similar to how he would treat his significant other in this situation, and his tone and eye contact were all pointing towards the way someone would act with a significant other. After I expressed my feelings to her later on, and told her that I had no ill feelings or concerns towards her, she accused me of taking my anger out on her, when realistically I spoke in a calm tone, highlighting my uncertainty about my boyfriends actions, not hers. I later apologized to him in the car and had a discussion about it. I did not apologize to her until days later, due to the fact I was extremely sick during that period. I do not feel right about this situation whatsoever, and I’ve completely admitted fault and apologized for my behavior. But now knowing how he acted, I do believe he likely had feelings of some kind for her, or she chose to input nasty things into his head under the guise that I was aiming to ruin their friendship. We had been dating for a year then he proceeded to dump me, refusing to give an explanation as to why he did so. He continued to say it was “my actions”, however claimed he had proof, yet showed nothing. I tried to speak to him in person, and was told the only way I could have a conversation with him was if his female friend was there. I did not go to this meeting, feeling that I had already been ganged up on from the previous interactions. He used text fonts that were indicating he was angry, and again, accusing me of things I did not do. When I attempted to give clarification, I was immediately shut down and told “why would his girl best friend lie?”, as if I was one to lie to him. What’s bothering me the most about this, is how understanding he was of my OCD. He was accommodating, and actually took it into account. He was sweet, kind, thoughtful, and genuine, but in the last month switched to being a more cold person. Granted I blamed it on his MDD and autism, but this was something I had never seen before. I’m hurt. I’m confused. My OCD is spiraling in ways it hasn’t since I started treatment. I have false memory OCD and they knew that. I feel betrayed for the fact they used that as a way to weaponize my OCD and cause me extreme emotional distress about these things.