I overthink every little thing on a relationship

When I met my partner couple years ago he always been like dry never initiated intimacy ever I find that a little bit weird at the beginning but I thought that would change and it never did. He used to cuddle buy gifts do all good at the beginning still do but never nothing about intimacy all this years I been wasting it arguing with him on why he never do that the answer was I dk I grow up without affection so he doesn’t show it or do it but he still love me ? This affect my self esteem through the years thinking it was about my body and overthinking everything I don’t think is part of my ocd or maybe it is I overthinking everything in a relationship but isn’t a lie that he never been a se*xual person ever this affected me a lot I hate telling people what to do and they still don’t do it and if I have to ask for it I don’t longer want it that should happen without me asking it also shouldn’t have to be me the only one to initiate it right now it been 1 a year and 9 months without any because I m done on forcing it is right now is so late of course I m overthinking right now and feeling like 💩 just venting I don’t have no one to talk about this by the way we live together we have kids and been on roommate phase for years years thank you for reading I would appreciate any advice life just suck

DeeDoo

Date posted: Yesterday

And you’ve expressed these feelings to him? Have you ever considered couple’s counseling? Neither of you are doing anything wrong, I think this something that just needs to be communicated in a more meaningful manner so you address both your needs, please do not take it out on yourself.

Monii

Date posted: 22h

@DeeDoo Yes I did so many time nothing really change and couple couseling I haven’t considered yet but maybe I m no sure I communicate so many time that’s why it just make me mad thinking I have to repeat my self so many time it feel forceful I believe and it also affect me because my ocd get so much worse when I go through life situations thank you for stopping by I really appreciate you

DeeDoo

Date posted: 19h

@Monii I’m so sorry love, it isn’t easy having to repeat yourself especially when you feel like they’ll never hear you out, you’ve done your best to communicate. I hope it gets better, maybe look into counseling, it may be of some help. I wish I had any better advice. ❤️

Monii

Date posted: 17h

@DeeDoo Yes is hard hopefully I can find help for this soon for now I just going to take care of my self more put me first thank you and oh no worries you gave me good advice just being here is enough for me I appreciate that :)

blep

Date posted: Yesterday

maybe he's asexual? if thats the case its not about your body. he doesn't experience sexual attraction at all or rarely. which isnt your fault. but you need to communicate and perhaps ask him if he is on ace spectrum

Monii

Date posted: 22h

@blep Yes I do think that also may be the case couple years ago it used to affect me thinking it was about my body but I realized that is nothing to do with me I communicate and he tried to change but then go back to the same behavior again so is like no change at all and then I have to bring the theme up again I feel so exhausted I feel like is only me trying to make him change I think I m just going to leave things how they are until whatever happens happen I don’t even know ugh

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