Just sharing a little progress and rambling

Early today I went to the mall far away from my place, I crossed multiple streets aswell despite all the anxiety & the intrusive thoughts. I tried on clothes and I still haven't showered despite feeling itchy all over and it late now. I haven't been able to relax, and Im very tense due to feeling like I might get sick because I put on the clothes at the store. I did find & buy a cardigan that I actually needed, so I have that and I'm happy I pushed myself. I have been looking for a cardigan for months but never found one I liked until now. I usually just avoid going and avoid trying things. This day has been very very hard, but also good because I've tried to go against it and got things I needed out of it. I got myself churro icecream as a reward for later. Now I'm very tired, but I've covered my mirrors so I won't get stuck and pick my skin when I finally take my shower. Being tired usually ends with picking skin when getting ready for bed & getting more harm thoughts when I finally go to bed, making it hard to sleep. But! can't wait to show off my cute cozy cardigan! And here I am wondering if I should even post this because I'm getting thoughts that it might upset someone or something or if I'll get misunderstood somehow. I will do my best not to delete this.

cjpabbott

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13d

hey mochimoch, definitely don’t delete!! it’s great for people in the community to hear success stories like this. congrats on your day, it seemed really hard but also like you had a lot of wins which is awesome! from my own experience, sitting with those intrusive thoughts and not giving in to the compulsions only helps to make the next times easier. i find it can feel impossible in the moment, but after time has passed it gets less and less distressing. i hope this helps, just wanted to share what has worked for me with my own contamination ocd. again, congrats on your day. it might seem minuscule but from what you’ve said it sounds like you did a lot of amazing work.

Mochimoch

Date posted: 11d

You are right, id be encouraged to hear from anyone that they succeeded & had any win. So I hope that me sharing my experiences helps someone even just a tiny bit. The day after I was stuck in bed and struggled a lot through the day, but that doesn't erase the wins from the day before. It kind of shows how its not linear. Thank you for sharing about how you handle your contamination ocd, I'll be trying to do the same more :) I managed to take a normal short shower that day, I had to stop myself a couple of times not going back in and stuff, but I still did it. The day after my ocds was very mean and I did compulsions, but the mall-day is still a day I'm very happy about and I know I can get better. Not deleting this helped me remember it aswell. Thank you cjpabbott!

cjpabbott

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@Mochimoch sorry for the late reply mochimoch. from all the things your saying, it seems like you’re doing way more great work than you’re giving yourself credit for. being able to hear someone taking on their ocd head on the way you have and really pushing back on your compulsions inspires me to attack the day and my ocd as well!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 13d

Congratulations on your progress! Sounds like you had some big wins

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