I try to imagine a future w my bf and it just keeps popping up my exes face. Or anything. It’s so distressing. Even talking abt it feels like cheating.
I’ve had this! Even with people who weren’t exes, just people I might have talked to in a romantic way. For instance I re opened an account of mine on Instagram, and saw that someone I used to talk to followed me on there and I was still following them too, I immediately unfollowed them but my OCD tried to convince I was a bad person and I needed to tell my partner. I’ve always had intrusive thoughts of what if I am better off with someone from my past, etc and stuff like that
@lucyjade1998 Thank you, it’s really bothersome and it always feels so disloyal and distressing, how did you manage it?
@lucyjade1998 Because I love my boyfriend so much, and I don’t miss my exes. The thoughts make me feel so guilty and terrible
@ocdinglehopper Honestly I just stick to my ERP work and notice this is an OCD thought, and I don’t have to figure it out, continuing on with having the same relationship and being the same with my partner, I understand how difficult it can be though, and I don’t want this to sound like reassurance but somebody who genuinely wanted to be with an ex wouldn’t be constantly obsessing over something like this, you arent a cheat or anything like that, you cannot control your thoughts
@lucyjade1998 Thank you sm
@ocdinglehopper If you ever need to chat, let me know! I know what I said is easier said than done, but you got this!
@lucyjade1998 Like me and this ex were so off and on we always got back tg, and before me and my current bf got tg and me and my ex were in contact I felt like old feelings were coming back, but my therapist just said it was just because my mind was comfortable bc it was someone I alr dated? And like I liked the “rush” not bc it was old feelings
@ocdinglehopper I don’t know the ins and outs of your past relationship, but with the on and off situation, it sounds like anyway that relationship wasn’t for you, and your new partner is much better suited. Plus you and your current partner weren’t together yet so you didn’t do anything wrong, but I can understand how OCD likes to twist things. Imo, I think your OCD has latched on you getting back into contact with your ex as proof that you want your ex, when you clearly don’t but we know it will twist things and try and find evidence in anything.
@lucyjade1998 Yeah it sucks, but it’s just so ugh I hate ocd, like my bf put on a cologne, and my mind said it smelt like my ex, I don’t even remember what my ex smelt like? So it made my stomach drop… but yea when we was tg we broke up 2 times in 9 months.. and before we got tg, we was in a really bad messy talking stage like he made me hate myself said a bunch of stuff abt me? Would lead me on, love bomb me etc etc
@lucyjade1998 Then when we got tg I thought he “changed” but then he’d still do weird micro cheating things?
@ocdinglehopper Yep. Definitely sounds like a bad relationship and I’m glad you are out of it tbh. I wonder why when it comes to ROCD, jt attaches itself to your most toxic relationships. That’s what it did to me. My ex, who at this point I don’t even consider an ex did the same thing and then all of a sudden my OCD attached to them, I have heard similar from other people too. It’s almost like OCD is being so cruel making you think you love your “abuser” when you are finally in a healthy relationship.
@ocdinglehopper I also think mine personally stemmed from me checking their profile once after I got into a new relationship (I wanted to see if they were doing bad, as awful as that sounds 🤣) and my OCD tried to use that as prove that I wanted them, when that isn’t the case, like I said it tries its hardest to find evidence and make it believable
@ocdinglehopper Also when I talked about this with my therapist she instantly asked me if they were emotionally abusive and I was like yes. They just KNOW. 😭
@lucyjade1998 Omg mine was like, before we got tg he was like talking to other girls while talking to me, made me depressed and sad bc I guess I was over dramatic not sure… and he was just so mean? Said he’d f my friends etc. and when we was tg he like microcheated, stalked girls, flirted then lied abt it, all that stuff.. like idk why I’m getting thoughts abt missing it? Like bruh he traumatized my few on relationships…
@ocdinglehopper View^
@lucyjade1998 And he was posted on my old schools barstool with like, makeup on obv in a girls room, and I kept staring at it to see who’s room it was? Because I guess it eased my anxiety that he was talking to a girl? and I was tryna figure out if it was current or not?? Like it’s so dumb
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