Feeling “unforgivable”

I saw online that children who committed deviant behavior can’t be rehabilitated. When I was younger, probably up until age 14 to 15, I did some things. I’m not proud of due to trauma, my environment, and people and other kids doing the same behavior to me. I repeated a lot of things I wouldn’t do now and I’m worried that I’m someone who can’t be rehabilitated. I don’t do anything wrong , like those things I did back then, but I worry with the TikTok said. I worry that my past defines who I’m supposed to be as an adult. The TikTok meant children who were actual predators, but some of the things I did as a kid could be seen as that or just very, very weird and gross :( i can’t stop thinking about this

komorebi11

Date posted: Yesterday

I believe a lot of people can be rehabilitated regardless of what they did if they want to be. I don’t think it’s that they can’t. It’s that they don’t want too. If someone has a genuine want to rehabilitate.. that’s like the start isn’t it?

dee012

Date posted: 23h

@komorebi11 Yes, I think so. But the comments on the TikTok said not everyone could be rehabilitated and a lot of those kids either just stop because they want something out of life or stop and eventually do it again. There’s a lot of things in my childhood that I did that I would most definitely not do again. The thought of younger me even doing those things makes me genuinely sick to my stomach. I would like to be clear though. I never killed anybody. I never killed an animal unless it was a bug.

komorebi11

Date posted: 10h

@dee012 That TikTok doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Wanting something out of life doesn’t mean you can’t feel remorse for your actions? And want rehabilitation? Correct me if I’m wrong. But by that logic if someone had done something wrong they can never want anything good for themselves? I’m no therapist but wallowing in your wrong doings forever is not what I think people are healthily supposed to do. Or is it more the motive? They only want people to forgive them and see them as rehabilitated because they want that something?

Anna,hi!

Date posted: Yesterday

First off who cares what TikTok, out of all places, has to say. Also, I do kinda agree. It really depends on what the act is. If it is stealing, lies, drugs, then I think it is possible. However, if it involves killing someone or sa than I do not think so.

dee012

Date posted: 23h

@Anna,hi! I also agree to a certain extent but it depends on the situation. i have never killed anyone lol and probably won’t for the rest of my life unless i have to do it to defend my self in life or death. In terms of SA, i had that done to me as a kid by some family members and also my peers at school. I then went and repeated the behaviors to other kids and I didn’t know it was wrong until I got older. That’s what I mean. I also did a lot of weird sht as a kid online so idk:( there is an age where all of that kind of just stopped. It’s like my brain matured and knew none of that stuff was normal and then I developed OCD, which I hyper watch all of my actions, words, and thoughts. So seeing that TikTok kind of made me feel like maybe I am someone that’s unforgivable? I would hope not

mjr-rust

Date posted: Yesterday

Like you said, they were referring to kids who were genuine predators. The fact that you know that you would no longer do the things you're ashamed of now again shows growth within itself. I struggle with the same thinking myself, but it's important to remember that your past only defines who you are in the present if you let it. OCD likes to make you think you need to do so but it's not true. You deserve to grow into a happier and more mature person; everyone does.

dee012

Date posted: 23h

@mjr-rust Thank you. I think the examples were maybe kids who did a lot of extreme things. I was kind of a product of my environment and repeated a lot of stuff I saw or a lot of stuff that had been done to me as well. I guess all I can do is really move forward. I’m just worried if I should be more harsh on myself than I am because I don’t know if the world sees me as unforgivable.

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