ROCD / impressing

i feel like i have always been hyper focused? ig on like if people think im attractive. i have a bf so it makes me feel horrible like it makes me feel like iw ant to impress. and i mean i like when girls think im pretty too but since im not attracted to girls, my ocd does not focus on it. its the guys it focuses on. like i dont really act and try to get attention purposefully, like i dont dress up for men, but when i post a selfie where i look pretty i always feel like i am posting it for people to find me attractive. like if a guy likes the pic for some reason i feel good ab myself? also one time years ago i was in a gc w my female friend and her guy friend and i was out thrift shopping and i sent a mirror pic of myself. and at the time i didnt have ocd as bad but i was like you just wanna send that so he can see ur attractive but i kept telling myself “no thats not it idc if he does i have a bf” but i feel like i lied to myself bc i didnt want that to be true bc when i was single i did seek validation. but like if a guy ever messaged me to hit on me i never entertained it to get attention. and ive never like asked guys while in a relationship if theh thought i was attravtive or tried to get them to say it. its more so it feel like i want them to “think” it not actually say anything, cus if they did i would reject them.but then again one time i posted a tiktok i looked good and i was looking at the likes and i feel like i was specifically looking for the likes from guys or noticed the ones from guys more. ik im not a cheater or anything as i have never cheated. basically i just hope this doesnt mean i seek validation or attention because your partner’s validation anf attention shoulf be enough. does anybody relate?