- Date posted
- Yesterday
I'm really scared, what do I do???
Now I know there's nothing wrong with having ADHD but I have a very specific fear of it to the point of my body getting hot and now I'll never be able to get this out of my head. My psychiatrist is actually highly aware of this, yet she keeps bringing it up. She has ADHD herself, and she thinks thay I have it, which whatever, but I've had genuine panic attacks, and then my mom was in the room as well, and I got kinda loud because I was freaking out and then she told me to "stop yelling" but like everyone ignores me until I get loud. I wasn't even trying to be mean I was just terrified.â She knows I have OCD, and I have OCD about many, many things. She always says "I'm not trying to upset you," but she does. And she KNOWS she does or else she wouldn't say that. My appointment was yesterday and now I'm on reddit because all day this is all I've been able to think about. I keep sifting through memories, I keep googling, I keep going to reddit. I can't stop. I'm so scared. It's going to haunt me for such a long time before I can even talk to my therapist. I'm genuinely so so scared now. She says that one of the symptoms of ADHD is emotional dysregulation, and I've had that since I was a kid, so much so that I've been told I was "Acting out of character," but each time, this was because of boundaries being broken, which they constantly are, and then it's MY fault for blowing up. Dude Idk I keep thinking and thinking my mind won't shut up there's nothing I can do. I don't want this. And if you're wondering WHY I'm scared, it's just I'm so afraid of my personality changing. Something as small as being diagnosed with PCOS made me terrified. And that was very recent. I'm just so scared and this is only going to get worse. My therapist says "no I dont think you have it personally" but my psychiatrist thinks so. And now I'm just hearing 2 different things. I just don't want this. And people look at me crazy. I just wish I could be taken seriously. I'm scared and this is gonna be on my mind for such a long time dude