- Date posted
- 17h
Summer with ocd and being in a relationship
I’m a college student and have been in a serious relationship (wlw) for 6 months and it’s going really great. We both have pretty severe ocd but are both medicated and in therapy but summer is hard for both of us. She doesn’t like being at home and is working at a summer camp and I also don’t like being home but have a part time job and working on a certification so I’ll be busy, and I’ll be out of town for 2 weeks in a few weeks. I have had really bad separation anxiety from my mom for years and college finally made me not have that issue anymore, but now I feel the same feelings of being scared when I was away from my mom when I’m away from my partner. We have very open communication and will be able to talk pretty much everyday and see each other once or twice a week, but I feel the dread I felt when I was away from my mom. Summer is always really hard for me but I’m trying to shift my thinking but I’m also scared for my partner that she is going to have a hard time this summer and all the “what ifs” start rolling like crazy. It feels really hard and scary not seeing her everyday like I did in college. It’s only a few months and then we will be back but my brain keeps telling me something bad is doomed to happen or that she won’t want to call or text me or that I won’t be able to handle being away from her. I’m able to push away the compulsions to check on her all the time but my brain is just going crazy even though I’ve been back from college for not even a day. I just want to feel good and for her to feel good but I’m scared she won’t need me or that she will be too busy to talk or she will only want to see her friends and not me. I’m trying to sit with the discomfort of not knowing the future and understanding that I’ve felt this feeling before and everything turned out ok. I just preemptively miss her and just feel really sad and scared. I feel like I’m going to mess things up. I can’t get reassurance because that’s not helpful but has anyone experienced something like this? I just want everything and everyone to be ok