Ocd has won

Noooo, don’t give up. Please don’t give up. I understand it’s hard—it’s a rough battle. I read some of your posts, and while I don’t have all the answers, I see some OCD patterns I can relate to. Are you seeing a therapist or psychiatrist? If not, I highly encourage it, especially someone who understands OCD. You are young and still figuring things out, and that’s okay. I’m 26 and still figuring things out too. I constantly feel like I NEED reassurance, and I can get stuck in exhausting mental debates when I read something contrary to my beliefs. From your posts, I see identity is something OCD really latches onto for you. I just want to say: it’s okay to be unsure. You do NOT need to solve your entire life right now. For me personally, my identity is rooted in being a Christian, and even that was a journey. It didn’t happen overnight. I had rough ups and downs that led me to Christ, and I’m still growing. You are on a journey too. Don’t let society, other people, or your own mind pressure you into needing a label right now. Labels can be helpful sometimes, but you don’t need to force yourself into a box before you’re ready. You are ALLOWED to take your time and seek support. So here are some practical steps: 1). Try to notice the thought. “I’m hooked” We aren’t here to ask “why am I hooked”. Just notice. 2). Next step, name it. “This feels like an ocd spiral/rumination”. You DON’T need to prove it, you are just naming the pattern. 3). Then redirect it. Ask yourself “what am I doing right now that feeds this?” Are you mentally debating, replaying memories, are you googling, asking others for reassurance? 4). Then gently shift your attention to a present task. Not “I must feel better first”, it should be more like “the thought can take a backseat while I keep moving” If this is difficult, it’s okay. Still take it step by step. You do NOT need to stop the thoughts to stop the compulsion. The goal isn’t to stop the thoughts or make them disappear. The goal IS about reducing the compulsions you do in response. Some other practical stuff: 1). Try to delay the compulsion. You can start small. Tell yourself “I’ll ruminate later. I’ll wait 10 minutes”. It’s not saying “I can never check” we are just saying “not now”. Let’s say your urge is “I need to analyze everything right now” Your delay response can be: “I’m allowed to check later if I still choose to. But for the next 2 minutes, I am not engaging” You can wait 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or a few seconds. We are teaching the brain “I can survive discomfort without immediate action”. So while we are doing this, no googling for answers to feed the compulsions. We are putting it on the shelf right now. Put it away just like a book you just closed and are now putting it on the shelf. We can come back to it later if we want to. 2). Now let’s reduce the body panic. While this happens we feel sick, like chest tightness, nausea, etc… When our nervous system is dysregulated, our brain shifts into survival mode. We have to REGULATE our nervous system. This is not to make thoughts disappear, this is telling our body “we are NOT in immediate danger”. (I also recommend searching up “how to regulate nervous system” and “grounding techniques” and guided meditation can be helpful too) - Let’s do longer exhale breathing: Try inhaling gently for 3-4 seconds, and exhale slowly for 5-7 seconds. Don’t force yourself to inhale a ton of air, remember we are gently inhaling. This is to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, we are telling our brain “we are not actively being chased”). - You can also try progressive muscle relaxation. Check to see, is my jaw clenched?, are my shoulders raised?, are my fists tight?, is my stomach braced? And then try tensing that area for 3 seconds and then release. Example: Squeeze your fists for 3 seconds, then release. Shrug your shoulders up and hold them there for 3 seconds, then release. Scrunch your face for 3 seconds, then release. This is letting our body know “we can let loose a little”. - Cold Temperature: This can help during panic spikes. You can put cold water on your face, an ice pack on your cheeks, hold a cold drink, or get some cool air. Some helpful areas (pulse points) to put the cold water on can be our wrists, sides of the neck, temples, forehead, cheeks, under the eyes, and hands. We want cold, NOT painfully freezing. So if you use ice, please wrap it in cloth. - Orienting to the room to help with derealization: When we are anxious our attention focuses inward. So let’s look outward, slowly look around. Don’t rush. Notice 5 things you see, notice 4 things you feel sensory wise, notice 3 sounds, notice 2 smells, notice 1 taste. It doesn’t have to be that exact pattern, but we want to ground ourselves, letting our brains know “hey we aren’t in immediate danger” Name out loud what you see, look around, side to side, up or down. Seeing 5 things example: “I see a brown desk, a white textured wall, a brown dresser, a fuzzy purple blanket, a lamp, and a notebook” The more specific the better. Noticing 4 things we feel example: ask what is touching my body? We aren’t analyzing, just noticing. “I feel my feet on the wooden floor, I feel my socks around my toes, I feel my shirt on my shoulders, I feel my hair touching my neck”. Noticing 3 things we hear example: What sounds do we hear outside our head? “I can hear the hum of the A/C, I can hear the fan, I can hear some birds chirping, I can hear the cars driving by” (I’m just going to give a bit more examples to help). Noticing the 2 things we can smell example: What scents do I notice right now? It’s okay if we barely notice any scents. We can lean into things to smell them, like blankets, shirts, etc… and we can grab the item to smell it “I can smell some chamomile tea when I open the tea box, I can smell the shampoo in my hair from last night, I can pick up my strawberry scented body spray and smell it, I can smell this eucalyptus lotion from bath and bodyworks, I can smell the febreze clean linen air spray”. - Noticing the 1 thing you can taste example: “What taste do I notice in my mouth right now?” It’s okay if there’s no obvious taste. “I taste mint from the toothpaste I used earlier, I taste peppermint from the gum I’m chewing, I can taste the water I’m drinking, I can taste coffee/tea/matcha/bubble-tea I drank from earlier” Also, please take what helps and leave what doesn’t—this is a guide, not pressure to do everything perfectly. God bless you and take care, you are loved. You’re not alone, even if you feel like you are. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help and support. You might feel knocked down some days, even many days, but let’s get back up and keep moving. Don’t give up ❤️ It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to not have everything figured out in this complex world we live in. Remember, you don’t need to solve everything right now.