No feelings and feelings of disgust

Hello! I can’t give you professional advice but I can give your my experience. I’ve been struggling with sexual themes of OCD in general for the last two and a half months. Mostly POCD. The biggest thing that helped me was realizing my compulsions so I could stop engaging in them at all costs. I realized that most of mine were mental and that any time a strange feeling or sensation or thought came up I had to think so hard about it to make sure I wasn’t some evil monster sexual deviant. But what I didn’t know was that the reason all these weird feelings, sensations, and not being able to tell what I was attracted to anymore was because I was ruminating on it so much. There was a NOCD stream vod that I listened to that helped me learn that. Then I was able to be like ohhhh so every weird feeling that kept developing and getting worse and worse was actually being caused by me trying to figure it out so much. You see when we hyper focus on one thing, especially attraction and our bodies, we will become desensitized to things and start to trip ourselves out. It can cause feelings that you don’t understand and you start to trick yourself that you actually want the thing you don’t want. Once I was able to blame it all on OCD I actually allowed myself to focus on other things. I’ve been doing this for about a week and I am making progress so fast that I can see things almost clearly again. A lot of the sensations are starting to go away already too. The only way to stop tripping yourself out about it and return to seeing it clearly is to stop trying to figure it out so much. I know it’s easier said than done. But when I notice myself feeling the urge to figure something out I just say to myself, “nope I don’t have to figure this out” and then I redirect my focus to a podcast, video game, or a hobby. At first that was hard, but if you can do something you love to do despite feeling uncomfortable for a little while, the anxiety will go away on its own. Over a little but your body and brain will realize,”hey didn’t figure it out and I’m still okay”The feeling is still going to come back, but every time I ignore it it gets less and less powerful. I know eventually it won’t even happen anymore. It’s like building a muscle. Now I’ve been able to enjoy my life again and I know if something else tries to get me I’ll be able to handle it. Even if OCD tries to tell me that’s a lie too :). You got this! It is possible!