I’m worried

Throughout the day, I have had intrusive thoughts and images involving masc-presenting women, and I keep questioning whether I am secretly attracted to them or if this means my sexuality has changed. I noticed that when I see masc or tomboy-presenting women on social media (Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube), my brain sometimes creates scenarios involving them. When this happens, I often feel a mix of anxiety, panic, and confusing bodily sensations such as warmth, “cozy” feelings, or a drop/heavy feeling in my chest or stomach. These sensations feel very real and intense in the moment, which increases my fear that it means something about my identity. During these tests, I sometimes feel a brief sensation of warmth or what feels like attraction, but it is usually followed by panic, confusion, and overthinking. I then try to analyze whether the feeling was real attraction or not, which increases my anxiety. I also notice similar reactions when I see men I find attractive. I can feel attraction toward men (for example, finding muscular male bodies attractive), but OCD makes me question my reactions afterward or compare them to reactions I had with women.

anca

Date posted: 2d

These are all symptoms of ocd. I've experienced and still experience all of this but with feminine women. Accept that it's happening and move on without analyzing or comparing. You can even tell your brain something like "I'm not looking into that right now" or "thanks for the info", these kinds of respinse have helped me a lot in resisting mental compulsions. You'll see that in time, the more you ignore these instrusions, you will experience less and less of this. It may not go away completely, it hasnt for me, but it got to a point where I look back at the time where I experienced this in an overwhelming amount and I find it ridiculous that I ever believed those were real feelings when now I can clearly tell they were just anxiety disguised as something else. I don't think it will ever stop being confusing but it gets easier

anca

Date posted: 2d

If you haven't looked into it, I find that I-CBT may be more helpful for this kind of theme than ERP. With I-CBT you learn to see that the doubt is caused by imagination not real things that are happening outside of your brain. The stories that ocd makes up have no relevance, they are just stories. If you've been with men and enjoyed it then you have no reason to put more trust in your imagination than in your lived experience

Sofieee

Date posted: Yesterday

@anca Thank you I will look into it 🙏 but I hate that doubt feeling and wondering if I even love him 😢 even though i love him to death .

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