OCD Switching it up on me

So me and my boyfriend usually have a sleep over once a week and we see each other a couple more times a week cause we work together. This week I spent 2 nights with him because they’re doing construction at my house (really my parents house) we also worked the World Cup game at the bar we worked at yesterday and it was super busy, I walked 4. 4 miles just at work serving drinks and food. So after that I spent the night at his house and we banged lol even tho I was dead tired. I mean I enjoyed it but this morning I was feeling just kinda tired and grouchy and I decided to go home cause I needed some me time. Ofc that was triggering for my OCD, and I knew what was happening in my brain, the whole drive home my brain was wanting to pull me into rumination, overthinking about what that means about the future of our relationship.. It’s so exhausting and I wanna throw up lol. But hey, the show goes on. We are coming up on 2 years together August and my birthday is in July so yay

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 20h

I see you. I feel like I’ve never experienced the crazy animal side of wanting sex and that latches onto my relationship and somehow tries to convince me we can’t be together or that I’m gay… meanwhile though a lot of people don’t so I go back to the “maybe, maybe not” approach. But the uncertainty is annoying

FroBro22

Date posted: 18h

@Cat-Mom Smh I get exactly what you mean. My OCD does that sometimes too. My libido isn’t as consistent as my BF’s and my OCD latches on. It likes to make a big deal over things that are probably not that big a deal and easily workable.

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 17h

@FroBro22 Exactly! But like you I’ve found myself having sex even when I wasn’t “in the mood” really, and I know that’s not a good thing to do but I do it to also please my partner and I want him to feel good. But then I read people on relationship forums being like “my partner and I hardly have sex and I’m happy” and I have to remind myself it looks different for everyone

FroBro22

Date posted: 14h

@Cat-Mom Definitely. Yesterday my OCD was moreso latching on to me wanting alone time and it feeling good to come home. Like omg what does that mean, I’ve been obsessing over wanting a future together and wanting to move in eventually, how can we live together when you can’t even spend two nights with him without getting tired of him? Type beat. I know it’s my OCD latching onto something kinda normal like being tired and wanting time to myself and making me doubt everything

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 14h

Everyone needs alone time. Most people do not wanna be around their S/O 24/7!

FroBro22

Date posted: 13h

@Cat-Mom Exactly, but OCD doesn’t care. Everything is a red flag 🫩 it’s so annoying. I just gotta remember that OCD makes you overestimate threat and underestimate your ability to handle things

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 12h

@FroBro22 It’s so true. Literally moving in with my partner today and we’re both hot hungry and cranky and my brain is telling me I should be with a woman instead after I saw a gay couple walking down the street like whattttt🫩 OCD blows

FroBro22

Date posted: 12h

@Cat-Mom Definitely been there. I’ve had that same obsession too. It’s like your brain is constantly scanning for proof. It’s such a ridiculous disorder like wym I can’t just be cranky and tired

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 12h

@Cat-Mom ROCD and SOOCD make me so angry together like I have a great relationship who TF cares we can be with whoever we wantttt I hate that you understand but am also selfishly glad to have met someone else who does, makes it a little less lonely

FroBro22

Date posted: 12h

@Cat-Mom Congrats on the move in tho! Hope you get settled despite ur OCD fucking with you 😌 it loves milestones

FroBro22

Date posted: 12h

@Cat-Mom lol oh girl I understand completely. I saw some of your other posts and I was like yuppp my OCD does that to me to. Even before I was in my relationship I was obsessed with figuring out my sexuality, when I am bisexual. The reality is sexuality is kinda this diffuse thing that’s hard to pin down and will never be certain and OCD demands certainty of course. I’ve also been freaked out that I’m like not attracted to everyone like the stereotype of bisexuals are supposed to be. And I’ve been more attracted sexually to men but always had a hard time relating to them or having a romantic connection with them. The thing about sexuality is it changes, sex drives change etc. But our brains focus on the unknown, the what if I’m lying to myself? We just gotta go, yeah what if? And sit with the discomfort and move on. Harder said than done sometimes

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 11h

@FroBro22 YESSS. Ugh it feels so good to be understood. I just hate how on my busiest days these thoughts creep in like I literally have so much to do WHYYYYY is this even entering my brain space. I had to get off Reddit for the reason you describe of not fitting in a perfect box with sexuality. Bc so many people will just prescribe you a “sounds like you’re this” when to your point, our sexualities can evolve and change over time. And I TOTALLY get the romantic connection with men part. But I’m also not sure if I’m even that romantic of a person in general. I just kinda vibe with people and love to joke around

FroBro22

Date posted: 10h

@Cat-Mom Hahaha I feel you, honestly there shouldn’t be a need to define your sexuality like that, and people on the internet can’t tell you, they’re only projecting their own experiences. I’ve definitely had my Reddit posting days but about any little bump in my life haha. I was even voted the asshole one time on AITI hahaha

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond