Does anyone else feel like they have a hard time connecting with people and making friends? I feel like most people have bad intentions off the bat and are only wanting negativity towards me. I also feel like I can’t connect with people or really know the proper way of interacting with them.
Yes. I am fairly certain that my OCD is hereditary. My mother is very afraid of other people. She only leaves the house for work. She'll come up with these bazaar reasons and clearly none of it is rational. I have this same tendency to push people away and find myself distrustful of others. The best thing you can do is be social. Meet new people! Try volunteering. Find a weekly event and show up. Every week. You don't have to talk to anyone at first, take it slow and just keep showing up. Don't worry about being a weirdo. The first city I lived in out of college I went to a community bike ride every week and the first dozen times I was so nervous. I was incredibly awkward and often super baked the first few weeks. Over time I loosened up and I connected with people. The city after that I found a pool night. I just moved again so I feel you. I am quite nervous around people. I am still looking for a good weekly event to serve as my on going innoculation against agorophobia.
@Lynx Rufus Oddly enough I’m a really social person, but I feel like there’s always a mask on where I’m keeping everyone at arms length and over-analyzing every little thing from if what I said was rude or mean or anything along those lines to analyzing whoever I’m talking to speech pattern and facial movements for a “twitch” of anything near malice. I also feel like I file away any and every little flaw or insecurity someone will tell me and use it when I feel threatened, my brain kind of goes into a flight or fight mode and won’t settle until I’ve pushed the other person away, and it’s not without trying to not push the people Away, everytime I try to rationalize the interaction, my brain tells me that person is still going to come after me and I need to watch my back, which has definitely broken relationships for me.
I have a terrible time making friends. Mostly I replay conversations in my head trying to prove I didn't say something that will bring harm to them or say something that makes me a bad person. It is torture. Yesterday I went into a neighbor's house to visit for the first time, today I think I ruined his life and that I'm a terrible person, and it just keeps hammering away on my brain. Over and over and over. Doesn't make me want to hang out with people, but I'm trying because I want a better life than this. I signed up for a spanish class that starts next week. I volunteer at the library. It's hard, but it will be worth it. Wishing you the best!
In my spiral I’ve only started to realize how important friendships are. I never thought people cared about me (girls were mean in school) and I’ve always felt awkward making girl friends. But I’m realizing I think people are more open to friendship with me than I thought! Lol
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