EmmaG1524

Date posted: 16h

Ever feel like giving up?

Did you ever feel like giving up ? I sometimes think my ERP isn't working. I worry over if I have sexual attraction to my partner. I love my partner i always knew he wasnt all that physically attractive to me but still attractive and I didnt mind bc i truly do love him he's my best driebd. But im constantly analyzing how I feel questioning why I didn't feel a certain way and its all we talk about so no intimacy is actually being built. I feel 100% certain it is ocd but what I've been doing is noticing my desire to talk about it look it up etc and not doing so and most of the time I'm uncomfortable , then I forget about it. Lol

RRainbow:44

Date posted: 15h

I went through a period of overthinking that I wasn’t physically attracted to my partner of 4 years. I feel like it have been ocd in retrospect. This is very validating. That phase didn’t last that long and I felt really bad for my partner because I talked to him about it and I would hate for my partner to come to me and voice that they might now feel attracted to me so I apologized because i don’t think I truly felt that way

Ava Rose

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

Do not give up! Keep going, you are doing great.

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 15h

Looks like youre a Christian too I am as well. Ive been dealing with this for ao long and irs hard bc like we sont have sex and I used to make sexual moves to prove how i felt and I knew that was sinful buit it made it worse

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 10h

I don't have personal experience with this specific situation, but I wonder: does the thought that your partner is unattractive come with anxiety and guilt, or does it feel like a natural feeling that comes from you? OCD thoughts often come with a wave of emotions and uncertainty. Also, try not to analyze your feelings too much or think about the same thing repeatedly, because that can feed the OCD cycle. Sometimes our genuine feelings are not something we need to constantly prove or investigate. The thought that your treatment will not work is not necessarily true either. Sometimes OCD makes us doubt our progress and question whether treatment is helping. This is very common, and you don't have to give in to that thought. What leads to improvement is continuing to work on recovery, not the thought of "I will never get better" or even "I will definitely get better." Keep going and keep doing the work. The fact that you are discussing this topic here is already a step toward recovery❤

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 10h

Feels natural sometimes bf sometimes I do experience unattractive and generally he's not the most attractive guy ever. However mostly comes with anxiety guilt fear etc

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 10h

@EmmaG1524 It makes sense. Sometimes we can notice things we are not completely sure about in a relationship, and that’s normal. But when the thought comes with intense anxiety, guilt, and fear, it can become a cycle where OCD makes you search for certainty. Try not to spend too much time analyzing whether the feeling is "real" or "OCD." Focus on your values and how you want to act in the relationship.

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous💓 I want yo axt lovingly I want to be with my partner despite that

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 10h

@Anonymous💓 My values are that I belive this is the person God has for me

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

I am new to NOCD. I felt it hard to be in love with my wife. Looking back I wonder if it was her actions or the constant stress and GAD. I am now blaming myself for the marriage falling apart.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

I’ve definitely had that feeling- feeling like ERP wasn’t gonna work for me so why even try? What helped for me was a change in my mindset. I realized that I was prioritizing my OCD fears over my recovery. Instead, I had to think “even if my worst fear comes true, at least I resisted compulsions the best I could and I put my recovery first.” That helped me a bit to drop the rope in the game of tug of war with my OCD. Also, I took note of all the compulsions I was doing that got in the way of me practicing ERP properly. I was often questioning my thoughts, trying to prove them wrong, paying a lot of attention to them, etc. Instead of paying attention to thoughts in my head, I instead put my attention towards my valued activities in real life

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

See like i really value being with him over this. I panic and feel bad bc i fear im not feeling how I should feel so thats why I dont feel satisfied. I think I should feel a certian way so thr fact that I dont makes me afraid but I really truly love my partner and I want a future with him

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 Well that’s a great thing that you care about your loved one so much :) Though I’m also glad that you recognize you’re a bit one foot in and one foot out with recovery. That awareness helps you to know what needs to be worked on in the future. I want to remind you that OCD is a shapeshifter. Right now OCD is attacking your partner. But a month from now it could attack your job, or your faith, your future parenting, etc. The list is endless with OCD. So it’s important from now to make recovery your priority so that if OCD changes themes, it won’t bother you as much because your OCD will be well-managed. Also, OCD recovery actually can make your relationship soooo much better. Because instead of being filled with anxiety and ruminating thoughts, you could instead focus on having fun, quality times with your loved one. OCD recovery makes you feel normal again. And btw with OCD, trying to feel a feeling- makes that desired feeling become numb and so you can’t feel it even more . I experienced that too. Feelings of love can come back over time once your recovered ❤️‍🩹

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@Love1another<3 I have realized that too. My feelings of love etc I cant ever feel it naturally ao I kind of jud have to accept how i feel and maybe its right maybe its not!

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 Exactly! That’s a great response prevention message. You got this :) I believe in you ❤️ You can get to the other side

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@Love1another<3 Thats really hard bc i always feel like il lying but my partner is akso incredibly supportive

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 I bet that’s another sneaky way that OCD is getting you to ruminate!

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@Love1another<3 Ill write out some compulsions. I also talk about it way too much with him so we dont wver end up actually growing its all we talk over

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 Ahh I see. Yes that’s very common in relationships- to do compulsions with your partner of confessing, analyzing, and reassurance seeking. I think this can be turned into another recovery motivator :) You can look forward to having conversations about other things with your partner, things that make you both happy 🙏

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@Love1another<3 Kinda of feel bad i always look at other couples with cute husbands etc I work at a OBGYN so it can be quote triggering and i will think i wish I could feel that way toearss my partner but I choose my parter anyway it feels like im havibf yo choose between a good partner and a really cute guy

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

@EmmaG1524 Guilt is a super common symptom of OCD. I actually struggle with that guilty feeling a lot too. What I will say is that you didn’t choose to have this disorder. It’s something that happened TO you. And it’s expected that OCD is going to bombard you with guilty feelings and reminders of your intrusive thoughts. I think lots of self-compassion is needed for yourself here. I like Kimberly Quinlain’s YouTube channel because she gives advice on self-compassion mixed with OCD

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 10h

@Love1another<3 That was a really great response. It reminded me of myself at the beginning of my recovery. With time, you will learn to loosen your grip, face your OCD fears, and understand that progress and recovery are the most important things. But you also need to learn to be kind to yourself. That can make a huge difference in your recovery. I don't know why, but when I read your words, they reminded me of the way I used to think halfway through my own treatment❤

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 9h

@Anonymous💓 Aw that’s great that my comments resonated with you too :) I’m very happy to hear that. Thanks for sharing! ❤️‍🩹🙏

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