Saying “accept uncertainty/that you might be gay”

DOES NOT HELP!!!! Had SOOCD/HOCD in 2016, at my 14 years, and then its back again 10 years later all of a sudden, during a burnout that made me stay away from my job for a week. I KNOW WHAT I AM AND WHAT I’M NOT! When I’m not in crisis I don’t even THINK about my sexuality cause of how certain I am. I am happily married and with kids, I always dreamed about marrying a man like my husband. BUT, when OCD comes, I suddently don’t know anything it seems. And I see some therapists saying that we have to accept uncertainty… But I AM certain, just OCD keeps fighting my own belief and identity of myself!

ben123

Date posted: 9h

But beating it requires you not looking for certainty. If you look for certainty you wont get it so you have to drop it

ben123

Date posted: 9h

@ben123 It’s feels counterintuitive but it works eventually

I hate this

Date posted: 9h

I understand you so much right now. Like it’s crazy. I understand you so much.

NachoBee

Date posted: 8h

When I was about 13-14 years old, I’m 21 now for context, for months I couldn’t stop thinking about being lesbian despite knowing that I’m straight. Literally first thing I would think about when I woke up and last thing before bed. All day. For months. Exhausting. And i began to gaslight myself cause I thought if I just admitted it (despite knowing it’s not true) maybe my brain would stop bullying me. I relate to this so much. I know what you mean by being certain. But at the same time then I’m concerned why these thoughts won’t stop. So I hear you

theprooverth...

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous most helpful comment, thank you, i feel seen. how did your journey go?

NachoBee

Date posted: 8h

@theprooverthinker I haven’t had my first meeting yet. I finally made the decision yesterday to start treatment after my psychiatrist heard me mention what I just disclosed to you. Never told anyone that, too hard to verabize. I never knew my “anxiety” could actually be OCD. I never got help back then, I just somehow suffered through trying to distract myself with puzzles or walks. Didn’t help but it eventually became less frequent. I literally couldn’t sleep. I have thoughts like that often but not to the extent like back then. Now I’ll have moments or episodes (idk what it’s called) where I will panic about things that are unknowns, it’s complicated. Like the other day I was a little drunk/tipsy at a work event and I complimented my male bosses shirt and we talked about his style and I told him how I appreciated his help during my time working the internship. And the following weekend I constantly was in my head thinking that maybe he thought I was hitting on him and trying to make a move on him. Then he was sick which made me worry that I did something. When in reality I’m just a words of affirmation person. And then I thought maybe he was telling the other managers the same thing. Anyways. We all got problems or so I’m discovering 😅

NachoBee

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous Again to relate further, I’m in a happy healthy relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Love him to pieces. But those thoughts still come. 🫶🏼

Anonymous

Date posted: 9h

Honestly being hostile with yourself isn’t doing you any better. I think your therapist is telling you to accept uncertainty even though you know yourself is just another way of saying it’s not that serious. An omg she’s beautiful comment isn’t that serious and doesn’t define you but you have ocd so it’s different but the end of the day she’s probably telling you if you like both genders it’s okay but you are happy of who you are with but you do have to accept the uncertainty it’s ocd. We all have morals that ocd attacks

Kiara22

Date posted: 8h

Maybe try I-CBT

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond