Any tips for not ruminating? It seems like the thoughts just come and I ruminate on them forever and just get stressed and all kinds of physical sickly symptoms. I feel like most of my day is spent trying to convince myself I'm not a violent person..

That's a very common fear. But I've found when I actually accept those and work with them, it's so much easier to figure out what to do next since I'm not spending my energy over the ruminating dilemma. I think about killing people as an obsession, and it's often for absolutely no reason. I will accept that I do think about killing people, but that does not make me someone who murders, and thought and action are two different things.

Jumping off that, if you were a murderer, then you could kill someone without a second thought. The fact that you are ruminating about it means that you *don't* want to kill anyone.

@TulipKitten It is for no reason and I came out of nowhere, it's also mostly directed towards my family which makes me feel awful. ? They know and they're trying to get me help and appointments but i just cant stand the thought of them being disappointed or upset with me. I'm so besides myself..

I think you, like alot of people, misunderstand what accept means. Accepting these thoughts doesnt mean accepting them as true. Accepting them as thoughts means like how it sounds. Your accepting them as thoughts, nothing more, nothing less. They can be in your head but they don t mean anything. This takes a while to get a good grasp on but it'll come.

@russelicott Even accepting that I have the thoughts just puts me into distress too, i just want to be normal again this all started happening so suddenly. I'm always inside my head.

Desire is amoral. That means that desire is what it says on the tin and doesn't make you good or evil. The actions that result from desire make you good or evil.

Start learning how to healthily accept and this, like everything else in life, will pass. It's never hopeless, ever ever ever. You don't have psychosis and you're not crazy

That statement says to me that you will take whatever means necessary to prevent harm from coming to your family or friends. My recommendation is make sure you go to therapy, take your medicine. It will feel a lot better and be a lot easier when you take care of yourself mentally.

@TulipKitten I've been trying so hard to keep a positive attitude and try to take care of myself mentally but I just cant. I find myself trying to stop the thoughts and it just brings then right back, I feel like they're just becoming me. I'm really hoping medicine will help me even out, because I'm so scared I want to live, but not like this I cant do it forever. Thank you for your recommendations I've been seeing a therapist but only had one session. My next in jan 2.

@TwylerGuy12 Talk to them about ERP if you haven't already. I know it's a scary step, but it's necessary for people with OCD to confront those fears.

@TulipKitten I'm currently at urgent care about a possible ear infection and I also spilled my guts about the instrusive thoughts and stuff, they said wed talk more about it..